Who’s Scribbling? – A Journey to a Masterpiece

This was originally posted in September of 2012.  At that time I was brand new to blogging and had no idea what I was doing. I’m still not sure if I know what I am doing but at least I have become a whole lot braver about pushing the publish button 🙂

Who’s Scribbling by Terri Siebert

I don’t remember a whole lot about my life before the age of 5 other than I always loved to dance and sing but most of all I loved to draw pictures and color them.

When I was 5 years old as most children in my country do, I headed off to my first day of kindergarten.   I was so excited to be going to school.  I was not a baby anymore and was headed off where the big kids got to go spend their days.  I could not wait to play with the other kids and make whole a bunch of friends.

When my mother took me to my classroom I saw some of the other kids were crying and clinging to their moms but I was not scared at all, I was so happy to be there.  The classroom was full of tables and we each already had a place picked out just for us.  I found my name tag taped to the table marking my seat and I sat down.  It was going to be the best day ever!

Shortly after our mothers left the teacher gave us work to do.  We were to draw a picture of what we did over the summer.  I loved to color so this made me very happy.   I had my brand new cardboard school box filled with crayons, pencils and paste and I could not wait to use them!

I began coloring my masterpiece,  I felt so happy but then something awful happened.   I heard a little girl at our table whisper to the boy sitting next to her; she said “who is scribbling?”  I looked around the table to try to figure out who she was talking about.  “Where was this scribbling person at our table?” I thought to myself.   I did not see anyone scribbling.  Then I saw that same girl who had whispered to the boy and she was pointing at me!   As she pointed she said “It’s her,” with a look of disapproval on her face.

I began looking around the table at the other children, all eyes were on me. I remember the boy next to me scooted his chair away from me making sure the others did not think he was the “scribbler’s” friend.   I looked down at my picture which I had thought was beautiful a few minutes ago.  I also looked around at everyone else’s pictures.  Though I was just a little girl I still can remember the feelings I had inside.  I was so embarrassed as I felt the tears begin running down my face.  I wanted to run and hide but I was stuck there in that classroom at that table in an unfamiliar place and my mother who I always ran to, was not here to protect me.

I think that was the first time in my life I wanted to please other people who were not behaving very nicely.  I was only in kindergarten but in my child mind, I wanted them to think my picture was pretty and I wanted those kids to like me.  I remember looking at my picture wanting to hide it because they made me feel like it was ugly.  I wanted run away go back to my home where my mommy was where everything I did was beautiful and everyone liked me.

I wish I could say that I continued “scribbling” my picture and being myself not caring what the other kids thought, but I did not.  It was actually the beginning of a life of trying to please others.  I was just coloring a picture and some little girl pointed out I was not doing things like everyone else.  It can be really hard the first time you realize you are not like everyone else, even if you are only 5.

I still sometimes as an adult wonder where do those feelings come from?   Why do I have the need to feel that I have to please others .  I think its because we all need approval and we just want others to like us. We don’t want them to think we are odd or different or not smart.  I was reading my Bible the other day and I came across the story of Peter denying Jesus. The night before Jesus was crucified his faithful disciple Peter denied him.  Jesus even warned him he would do it and I do think Peter truly believed he would not do that sort of thing to his friend.

He warns Peter in Mark 14:27-31

  •  “You will all fall away,” Jesus told them, “for it is written: ‘I will strike the shepherd,and the sheep will be scattered.’  But after I have risen, I will go ahead of you into Galilee.”  Peter declared, “Even if all fall away, I will not.”  “Truly I tell you,” Jesus answered, “today—yes, tonight—before the rooster crows twice you yourself will disown me three times.” But Peter insisted emphatically, “Even if I have to die with you, I will never disown you.” And all the others said the same.

As you read on farther in Mark we can see it is true Peter did deny Jesus, as shown in 14:66-77

  • While Peter was below in the courtyard, one of the servant girls of the high priest came by.  When she saw Peter warming himself, she looked closely at him.  “You also were with that Nazarene, Jesus,” she said.  But he denied it. “I don’t know or understand what you’re talking about,” he said, and went out into the entryway.  When the servant girl saw him there, she said again to those standing around, “This fellow is one of them.” Again he denied it.  After a little while, those standing near said to Peter, “Surely you are one of them, for you are a Galilean.”  He began to call down curses, and he swore to them, “I don’t know this man you’re talking about.”  Immediately the rooster crowed the second time. Then Peter remembered the word Jesus had spoken to him: “Before the rooster crows twice you will disown me three times.” And he broke down and wept

I think that Peter feared for his life here and became afraid. I also think in our own lives we have a lot of reasons for wanting to please other people.  Fear can be a huge reason we try to please others.  We can fear harm to ourselves or just fear of being alone.

I feared others not liking me I also feared being picked on.  But the bottom line is we as people just really do not like it when we feel not liked or unloved.  No matter what the reason it can be scary.

I do believe we were made to please.  But I do not believe it was people we were made to please.  We were made to please one thing and one thing only and that is God.  What God thinks of us is all that ever has and ever will truly matter.

Don’t take me wrong when I say that.  This does not give us permission to go around acting like a jerk.  We should truly care about others and love one another and doing acts of kindness are wonderful.   We all should be nice to one another.  But we should never be who we are not meant to be to please another person.

Being a Christian can be hard sometimes because we have to go out of the box.  We have to say and do things that non believers may think are just plain nuts.  Sometimes even the believers may think we are nuts.   Our friends and family may think we are nuts too and guess what?? They may even not like us.  But if we stay pleasing to God we are on the right path.

Thankfully a lot of things have changed since that day in kindergarten.   We start learning our lessons in life as a young child and sometimes the lessons learned are not the right ones to learn.  Until I sat in that kindergarten classroom it never dawned on my child mind that someone would not like me because I was me. Thankfully now I do know who I need to please.  Something else I noticed along the way is if I just be who God made me to be, most people like me anyway, and if they don’t that’s ok . I also have realized that when I am not trying to please anyone except for God I actually like me too:)

Don’t worry what others think of you and go be who God made you to be.

Gelatians 1:10  Am I now trying to win the approval of human beings, or of God? Or am I trying to please people?If I were still trying to please people, I would not be a servant of Christ. 

Colossians 3:23    Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, not for human masters

Romans 12:2 Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will.

Thank you for reading! 🙂

Source: Who’s Scribbling? – A Journey to a Masterpiece

Take Flight

 

butterfly

Have you ever wanted to fly away from the life you are living right now?

Does your life sometimes feel like it’s nothing but one big struggle right after another?

Do you feel as if just getting through the day is too tough at times?

What if I told you that with Jesus in your life things could change?

You may be thinking your life is such a mess that he wouldn’t want someone like you.

I too have known that feeling… it’s not true.

Though you may not think it possible, believe me when I say this…

“He loves you”

He loves you no matter who you are or where you’ve been.

Jesus loves you and he wants YOU, and you are welcome right now just as you are.

Because your life has a meaning and a purpose.

Jesus loves you because you are worthy of his love.

He loves you just because you are YOU.

You are so adored.

And though you may think your life is just way too messy right now, I want you to know that Jesus specializes in messy.

He can help you clean up the mess and start a brand new beginning.

Jesus can turn your mixed up messy life into something of beauty.

All you have to do is ask him to come.

Tell him you want to know him and then ask him to come into your life and rescue you today.

He is waiting for you, ready to show you how to spread your wings and take flight as you soar with him into the brand new beginning of the rest of your life.

“Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. Matthew 11:28-29

A Hand Reaching Out

I was sitting on a beach enjoying the sunshine when suddenly the clouds that had been puffy white suddenly turned an odd shade of brown and started going together into a long roll. I stopped what I was doing and stood up watching, mesmerized as they rolled quickly across the sky coming to a stop over the water.

The clouds kept getting bigger and bigger and they started dipping down close to the water. The people around me started to panic and someone said, “oh my God it’s a tornado!” and then everyone started running.

Everyone was screaming and running but I couldn’t move because my feet were suddenly frozen to the ground. Everyone around me was panicking but I wasn’t scared at all. It was like I had this feeling of peace and a knowing that I was safe and I just stood there watching the clouds.

Chaos was everywhere and then in an instant it was if the world around me just stopped. All the people were all standing frozen in place now and there was no wind or rain to go along with the darkness. The ocean waves had stopped leaving the surface of the water still and dark black like a giant pool of ink. It felt as if the air went silent too. It was so quiet I imagine this is what deafness must feel like. 

I should have been scared but I wasn’t scared at all. It was like the hush I felt around me was also inside of me filling me to the depths of my entire soul with a perfect feeling of peace.

Suddenly out of the deafness there came a loud clap of thunder and the clouds began parting with rays of the most magnificent beams of bright light I’d ever seen shining through them and then a giant hand came out of the opening in the sky. The hand came down just above the water and opened turning palm upward. It began moving closer to us with beautiful colored light shining all around it.

Someone shouted, “it’s the hand of God!”  By then I was already crying and feeling in awe of his presence because I knew those words were true…Yes! This was the hand of God!  So many feelings were going through me now, feelings of joy and love and an unexplainable feeling of peace like I have never known. The hand moved around as if offering itself to all who wanted to grasp it but nobody moved. After a while it went back up into the clouds and the sky immediately went back to normal.

I was wrecked, falling to my knees to pray thinking those around me would join in…but it didn’t happen. Instead, the people just went back to their business as if nothing out of the ordinary had happened. It was as if nobody even cared what they had just been a part of.

I turned to a woman standing next to me and said, “wow the hand of…”  but she cut me off and said, “the hand of God, ya right, who cares!” and then she rolled her eyes!

God’s hand had been there, right in front of us, offering for each one of us to just reach out and take what he had to offer. It couldn’t possibly be true that nobody cared! They were all right there so close to being in in the palm of his hand, how they could pass that up it just made no sense!!! I started crying….

And then I woke up.

It had only been a dream!

Even though it was only a dream my heart was still pounding and I felt sick to my stomach and my face was wet with tears because I had been crying in my sleep.

I know it was only a dream but it felt so real!

It’s been a day and a half and I still can’t shake it that dream. In the dream, it made me sad that God was right in front of us in such a spectacular display and nobody cared and nobody would take what he had to offer. This has me thinking about how there used to be a time in my life that God’s hand was right in front of my face and I didn’t see it. I also have to admit that there are still some days that go by and I miss him.

Years ago I didn’t see him because I didn’t want to see Him. I used to think he wasn’t real and now it’s hard for me to believe that I could have ever felt that way. How could I have gotten up in the morning to see a sunrise and never wonder how something so magnificent could have gotten there? How could I have had 3 children and never once questioned how something so perfect as a newborn baby could have formed without help from something more than just magically happening? I could go on but I know you know what I mean… flowers, animals, air, water, LIFE. It’s all because of Him.

God is real and God is always here in each and every second of every day. We may not see him as a big giant hand reaching out of the sky like in my dream but He is all around us in each and every single thing in each and every single day.

I don’t want to miss him, and I don’t want anyone to miss what he has to offer!

Open my eyes Lord.

Open our eyes, let us see your hand reaching out to us!

I know to someone who doesn’t believe in Him this may sound strange. I know because I have been there. I used to live my life without God in it. I also remember a time in my life that I felt that I was too bad and that there was no way he could ever want or love me. But that wasn’t true and even though I totally gave up on him and also on myself, he still never gave up on me. He has shown me time and time again that he wants me, and now that he is in my life He has been right here holding my hand for every single step I take. If you are reading this and in need of a hand to help lift you up, all you have to do is want Him in your life. Just tell him you want him and then grab on to his hand. He sent Jesus to save us and all we have to do is ask him in and he will come.

It’s truly that simple.

If He is what you want and you don’t know what to say, you can say this prayer –  Dear Jesus, I know you are the son of God, I know you came for me, I know you died for me. I ask you to come into my life right now. I ask you to forgive me for my sin because I want to make a fresh start. I want to live the rest of my life with you and for you. Amen

If you said that prayer for the first time or maybe you are just deciding to come back from a separation of some sort, know that now he has you in the palm of his hand. If you are there you will never be alone.

 “Can a mother forget the baby at her breast
    and have no compassion on the child she has borne?
Though she may forget,
    I will not forget you!
 See, I have engraved you on the palms of my hands;
    your walls are ever before me. Isaiah 49:15-26

Have a great weekend!

Terri Siebert

 

Breakfast with a Stranger

Breakfast with a Stranger

“Are you Christians?”

I stopped talking to my friend and looked over to see a young man looking at us as if waiting for an answer.

“Are you talking to us?” I said.

“Yes… are you Christians?” he asked again.

“Yes we are,” I replied.

“I knew it,” he said and then he began telling us that he had lived his whole life for God and that even though he had done that, a whole lot of bad stuff had still happened to him.

It was very obvious that he was very upset with God, the church, and Christians.

Before speaking to us he had already spoken to other people in the room and they had all told him to go away. Now even though he didn’t know us he kept rambling on and on, telling us what seemed to be his whole life story. Most of what he was saying was really uncomfortable to take and no matter what we said to try to make him feel better he still kept rambling.

The man was also very strange and he was loud. To be honest he made me feel extremely uncomfortable and also embarrassed because he was drawing the attention of others in the room. Also, I really didn’t have a clue as to what I could have to say that would have been of any help to him.  After about 10 minutes of his rambling, like the others who had sent him away, I too was wishing this guy would go away.

His stuff was hard, WAY too hard…. and the truth is this wasn’t the conversation I had envisioned myself having this morning over breakfast.

Today I was having breakfast with my best friend who had moved away last year. She had been back in town for a couple of days for family business and we had planned to get together this morning for breakfast before she went back home. I had been really looking forward to this visit with my best friend.

The plan had been girl talk over breakfast but now instead of my friend and I chit chatting about our lives there was a complete stranger telling us about his life!

A lot of what he said was uncomfortable and also very disturbing to me.  He told us that he had been to several churches in our area seeking help and answers about God. From what he told us, it looked as if instead of them sharing God’s love with him he was looked down on and given a bunch of rules of which he had been unable to follow. And now it was pretty obvious that he was coming down pretty hard on himself for his inability to be the ‘perfect’ person that he believed God expected him to be.

This all made me feel sad.

This man was hurting and when he had turned to the church for help he had been pushed away and made to believe that he was not good enough for God.

Our whole breakfast was spent talking to him, and though we tried our best to help him. unfortunately a lot of what he said we really had no answers for.

Eventually, it was time for us to leave. so we told him goodbye and went on our way, but when I got in my car to go to work suddenly this feeling came over me that I should have prayed with the man.  A few seconds later my friend called me and we began talking about our experience with the man and we both admitted that we had wanted to hang out with each other instead of talking to him  I  then mentioned to my friend how the feeling that I should have prayed with him had come over me. She said if I felt that way maybe I should go back.

When she said that suddenly I knew I had to go back.

But I didn’t want to go back! Uggh it would be so uncomfortable and what would I say??

“Just go back”  kept running through my head.

Reluctantly, I made a quick turnaround and as I did the giant tea that I had just bought tipped over and dumped all over the floor of my car.  I pulled into a parking spot wanting to clean up the mess but I knew the mess had to wait because I had a strong urgency going through me that I needed to get back inside the restaurant right then.

I know this sounds crazy but its true.

As I started walking back into the restaurant I could see him sitting by himself in the back with his head down. I felt nervous, with a feeling of how embarrassing this could be… what if he said no?… I don’t pray out loud well…what will I pray about?? Tons of things were going through my head but then suddenly a feeling of boldness came over me so kept going. As I walked through the restaurant I could hear a hush come over the room as every person around him quit talking. These were the same people who had told him to go away and now I could feel every eye on me as I walked back toward him. He still wasn’t looking up and as I began to speak it was so quiet that you could have heard a pin drop.  “Hi … um  Z__,” he looked up at me as I said, “would you mind if I prayed with you?”

He seemed a little stunned but said, “Well… I guess you could do that.”  So I reached out and took his hands and prayed.

When we were finished I opened my eyes and saw that his eyes were filled with tears and then he said this to me… “God told me to come here today and he told me you were going to be here. Thank you for coming.” 

God told him I was going to be here today???!

I really didn’t know what to say but I heard the words “your welcome” come out of my mouth.

Even though I left the man in the restaurant this morning, I somehow feel as if he has stayed with me all day.

God told the man I was going to be there today and I had almost missed it!

After I got back to my car I remembered the dumped tea.  I had thought the carpet would be ruined for sure by that time but for some strange reason, all I had to do was shake off the floor mat. The tea didn’t sink into the carpet at all but hopefully, the lesson I learned today will sink deeply into my brain.

Since today is Music Monday I want to share a song with you that I feel goes really well with this story and is also one of my favorites right now.

I hope you enjoy — Christ in Me by Jeremy Camp.

Have a great week!

Terri Siebert

Sometimes You Have to Face the Clouds

silver lining
Then they cried out to the Lord in their trouble, and he brought them out of their distress. He stilled the storm to a whisper; the waves of the sea were hushed. They were glad when it grew calm, and he guided them to their desired haven. Let them give thanks to the Lord for his unfailing love and his wonderful deeds for mankind. Psalm 107:28‭-‬31

Keep pressing on!