Those He Left Behind

Today a friend from my past posted some old pictures on facebook.  The pictures were of me and another past friend of mine, his name was Greg.  When we were teens in High school Greg committed suicide.  That day was probably the worst day I have ever had in my life.  I’m not going to go into details about that day but I do want to tell you about Greg and what was lost that day.

Greg was 18 years old and he was just a few months away from graduating High school.  He was smart, good looking, funny and very talented.  I remember the first day I met Greg, I had just moved into a new neighborhood and I saw him coming down the road on a skateboard but he was not riding his skateboard like most kids rode skateboards instead he was riding his skateboard upside down on his hands!  Greg was the type of person everyone loved, kids and also adults.   I look back now and still wonder why he did what he did, he seemed to have everything going for him and I really never would imagine someone like him would do a thing like kill himself.

I do know from my own experiences that sometimes life can be really hard and for a teenager it may seem even harder.  Sometimes it’s really hard to see past a single moment of time to the future we have coming.  I really did not understand why then and I still don’t understand now why life seemed so hard to this boy that he felt he had to die to rid himself of the pain he was feeling.  When he did what he did the pain he was feeling then in turn fell on to us, the ones he left behind,  I often wonder if he had realized the pain he would leave behind with us who loved him, would he have still done it?

As I write this I realize it has been over 30 years since he died, he would have probably went on to college, have gotten married, and by now had his own children and possibly even grand children, but instead of living his life sadly he chose to end his life. Though it’s been a very long time Greg will be forever etched in my memory.  The pain of losing him and also losing him in such a tragic way was devastating to me.  I remember feeling so many emotions, shock and sadness and then I was also mad at him for many years for doing what he did.  The pain is not as fresh in my mind anymore but always will be there tucked deep down inside of me.

I am not sure why I feel the need to write about this today after all these years, maybe it was because the pictures my friend posted on facebook brought back the memories I thought I had so carefully tucked away.   Or maybe it was to let others know that if you feel so desperately lost that you are thinking of doing such a thing I want you to know that it fixes nothing.  Nothing in this world is so bad that it is worth taking your own life.  No matter how sad you may feel right now or how much you think things are so messed up, remember that this moment of your life is only a temporary and one day you will look back on this time and see that you did get through it.

If you feel desperate call a friend, or a parent and most of all call on God ask him to help you get through this, He will.

Matthew 11:28-29  “Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest.  Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls.