Unspoken Prayer

She walked into the building trembling inside, trying to trust even though the fear was overwhelming.  The urge to bolt was strong, if she could just sit in the back she would feel much better.

She suddenly felt like she needed to share her secret, if she told it maybe she could just sit in the back and get a grip on the fear that was plaguing her right now.  To share a side of herself in person with someone who might not understand would be hard to do, but at the moment it sounded easier than the alternative.  Besides she was in church, it should be safe to share what she was feeling at church. So she made the decision to confide in a friend the fear she was feeling, laying her heart out vulnerable as her secret was told

What happened next hit her like a punch to the stomach.  She had been hoping for relief but instead she was met with annoyance and anger as the words “you need to realize you are not the only person with stuff going on” were said to her along with the story of how badly this person’s day had been going so far.  Suddenly she felt embarrassed and ashamed.  She felt ashamed for being so selfish, and embarrassed for being so weak. She wished she could take it back, wished she had listened to the voice inside that had warned her to keep her mouth shut.

The feeling to bolt from the room was now stronger than ever as she wondered what was wrong with her and why couldn’t she couldn’t just get a grip on herself?

If God was here, why did she feel so alone at this moment, in the one place where she usually felt Him the most?  Wasn’t this a place that she was supposed to feel safe?

Though she wanted to run away, something stopped her and her stubborn side kicked in. With every fiber of strength she had left she walked to the front of the room and sat down on the front row. She swallowed the lump in her throat and pushed back the tears that were threatening to pour down any second and she made the decision that no matter how she felt she had to do this. She was tired of running, she was tired of hiding.  God had never failed her before and she knew he wasn’t going to fail her this time either.

The service started and after the first song she suddenly remembered that she had forgotten to silence the sound on her phone. She pulled her phone from her purse to turn it off and as she hit the volume button a text message flashed across the screen.  The message said ‘I love you!! I read what you wrote, this morning, I have been down the same road…I see why God sent us here, because we need each other! You are a blessing to so many people and I will be praying for you all this morning!’

She looked at her phone stunned and then she knew she had just seen the hands of Jesus right there on it’s screen.

She sat there lost in thought for a few moments when she suddenly realized the pastor was getting ready to pray and he was asking the same question he asks the congregation every week, “Does anyone in the room have something on their heart that is hard to share today? Just raise your hand and I will put it on my personal prayer list,” Her hand went up along with other hands in the room.

As a prayer for the room was said, a sudden peace like no other began washing over her.

Our Father, who art in heaven,
Hallowed be thy name.
Thy Kingdom come.
Thy will be done on earth,
as it is in heaven.
Give us this day our daily bread
And forgive us our trespasses
As we forgive those who trespass against us.

God was here…

Calm and reassurance began taking place of the fear she had felt only moments before, the words ‘you are not alone’ filled her mind as her heart became entwined with the other hearts in the room.

And lead us not into temptation,
But deliver us from evil.
For thine is the kingdom,
and the power, and the glory, forever.
Amen.

God’s power was present in a huge way that day as she realized that YES it was true, she was not the only person with stuff going on.  We all have ‘stuff” and God had brought them all together in that place to be there for one another.

The church is a place for the hurting and the broken people.  It is a place where all can come together as one and lay our burden down and rest our weary heads. The church is a place that has been built on love, God’s love and there is always plenty of His love to go around.

God can wipe our tears and answer each and every single prayer. He answers the spoken and unspoken requests and His peace flows in abundance and is free for anyone who wishes to partake in it.

 

Spiritual Jump Start

The name of the LORD is a strong tower; the righteous run to it and are safe. Proverbs 18:10

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Yesterday morning I got in my car to go to church.  Like I do every Sunday morning I put my key in the ignition to start the car, but this Sunday when I turned the key instead of hearing my engine start running, I heard silence.  I turned my key again and again but still there was nothing except dead silence.

Later that day after a bit of investigating and a helpful husband we came to the conclusion that my car had a dead battery. We then connected pair of jumper cables from my husband’s truck to my car and within minutes my car was running and ready to hit the road again.

This weekend was a very stressful weekend for me and I can not explain why but though I was connected well to God Saturday night, by Sunday morning instead of clinging to God, which I know I should do, I somehow lost touch and ended up spending my energy on anything and everything except charging my spiritual battery.  I prayed a bit, but I did not really take the opportunity to find time to just sit down and spend quality time with God. First it was the dead battery in my car, then I was late for church. and once I got to church I was flustered about the car and seemed to keep getting distracted by other things and I eventually ended up having a panic attack and missed most of the church service.

Our cars break down when their battery has been drained and pushed to the limit.

People also will break down when we are drained and pushed to our limit. Sometimes like our car batteries we as people also sometimes need jump start.

I realize now that as I sat in church on Sunday morning I had hit my limit and my spiritual battery was drained.

I should know by now that I need to stay connected to Jesus every single day, every chance I get. But instead of staying connected I had flailed around on my own until I ran out of energy and soon found myself in need a jump start.

After my husband and I jump started my car we noticed there is an indicator on top of the battery, if it is black that means the battery is dead and if it is green it is charged.  My car’s battery indicator was black, so today I brought the battery to the auto repair to be checked out and see why it was dead.  The service technician informed me that my battery was defective so I needed a new battery. Thankfully my car is still under warranty so the new battery was free.

As far as my spiritual battery goes, I am thankful that I can get a recharge anytime I want but it sure is a whole lot easier if I just stay plugged in to the power source at all times.

Each and every day requires being connected to Jesus. Thankfully he is always here ready to fill us with what we need to stay running.  And guess what??? The warranty never runs out, it’s unlimited, and always free!

Are you feeling drained today, in need of a jump start?

Connect yourself to the one who can give you what you need to keep going.

Plug yourself in to Jesus, He’s waiting for you.

Have a blessed day,

Terri

I have set the LORD always before me. Because he is at my right hand, I will not be shaken. Psalm 16:8

Clinging to Him as We look to the Light

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Our view of the sunrise over St. Louis from the window this morning © astorybyme.com

 

Death…
So close though I can’t see it I can still feel it lurking…
Standing by the edge of the room ready and waiting, ready to escort anyone through the door who may decide to walk through to the other side today…

As my eyes dart around the room they meet eyes looking back….everyone who is here whether they are sick or not are somehow in some way going through this together.  My eyes meet eyes of fear looking out right next to eyes full of determination and bravery.

This place feels like poison to me with its concoction of poison medicines, hanging from IV poles, dripping into the blood streams of the sick, killing off everything in their bodies to get rid of the real poison.

The unspoken poison…

The C word…

That word is on the mind of everyone here today though nobody says it…

Cancer…

The unspoken yet common bond between everyone who is in this place today.

they all also have another common bond…

That word is Hope

They all commonly hope.

Some hope for a cure and some just hope for one more day…

They all hope to get away from this disease that eats them inside.

Though it’s not me with this disease it still somehow eats at me today too.

I watch as the clear harmless looking medicine drips slowly from the bag into the arm of my friend as I think it seems ironic to me that something so poisonous is used to help someone get well. It poisons the cancer and along with it takes away her strength and makes her sick.

Father God, What is the purpose of all this? Today I feel as if I know nothing about anything anymore I feel so broken hearted inside for the people in this place and most of all for my friend because she has to go through this. I came as her guest today in the hopes of somehow helping yet I have no idea how I’m supposed to do that.  Sometimes life just does not come with instructions so I today I try to feel my way through it, trying my best to follow the lead of you the one who knows best.  I know that no matter how tough it is we can never give up on you.  I know you already know the outcome and the reason for all this I just wish I knew too.

I realized today that this is my friend’s life right now, every 3 weeks she has to come here to this place as do the rest of these people.They all continue to live life no matter how hard it is. They all know that they have to come to this awful place in order to continue living this life.

I wonder how do they view this room? Do they see it as I do?

I know my friend doesn’t like being here yet she keeps her chin up and takes all they do to her so bravely.  She knows this is what she has to do to keep this terrible disease at bay.

As for me I’m just the a person today who at times feels too much uncertainty.
Yet in my uncertainty I do see the reality that the only thing about this whole cancer thing that I am certain of is the fact that God is here.

As I look around I do see him.  I realize that he may seem absent to some of those who are here yet those who do see him are clinging tightly to his life rope.  When we first arrived here I met a lady who had no legs. Her legs were taken away by the cancer and yet she greeted everyone who came into the room with a smile, it was obvious who she clings to. Those people like her who choose to cling to him are the little bursts of light that are shining out in the darkness of this dreary place. They continue to shine on no matter what the outcome because they cling to the one who knows the outcome. They cling because they know He is the peace in this not so peaceful place.  They know that He is the one who will bring end to their suffering. I am so thankful for the light of Jesus that’s shining over this dark and dreary place this morning.

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Our view of the sunrise over St. Louis from the window this morning © astorybyme.com

 

You, God, are my God,

earnestly I seek you;

I thirst for you,

my whole being longs for you,

in a dry and parched land

where there is no water.

I have seen you in the sanctuary

and beheld your power and your glory.

Because your love is better than life,

my lips will glorify you.

I will praise you as long as I live,

and in your name I will lift up my hands.

I will be fully satisfied as with the richest of foods;

with singing lips my mouth will praise you.

On my bed I remember you;

I think of you through the watches of the night.

Because you are my help,

I sing in the shadow of your wings.

I cling to you;

your strong right hand upholds me securely. Psalm 63:1-8

 

Last May a dear friend of mine was diagnosed with stage 4 lung cancer.  She is only 50 years old and her doctor told her there is no cure but that with chemotherapy they can prolong her life so she goes every 3 weeks.  The chemo makes her very sick and she keeps having to have blood transfusions and fluids given to her intravenously almost weekly.  She has hopes that the chemo will work and that she will have a long future and I am asking you all to help with that today by praying for her. She is a fighter and I know with God’s help she can do this. Thank you for reading my blog and also for your prayers.

Blessings,

T

Peace in Your Strength

isaiah 41;10Most of my life I have had panic attacks.  When I have a panic attack most of the time they come out of nowhere and most of the time they seem to be about nothing. At times they can be so strong they cause me to lose a grip on the reality that I am having a fear about nothing.  When a panic attack starts usually at first I will feel an overwhelming sense of doom, and then the fear will start to come in really fast eventually overwhelming me. Over the years I have learned how talk myself out of having a full blown panic attack. After Jesus came into my life they seemed to not be as severe anymore though I did still have them from time to time.

They came back pretty strong again when I woke up one morning almost 4 years ago with a bright glow in my eye due to a blood clot in my eye (story here). As I went through my eye issues over the next few years at first I spent a lot of the time in panic. Gradually over time God started really showing me how he was there with me during those times and eventually I noticed I did not have many panic attacks anymore and if I did they were very short lived.

Today I was driving my car and suddenly I noticed bright glow in my left eye…you know how when you look at the sun and then look away, how for several minutes you will see a glowing spot in your eyes??  What I saw looked like that.  Because that glow is what I saw the morning I woke up with the blood clot in my eye now sometimes a glare off the sun or a light bulb will send me into panic.  I know that sounds silly but that is how my mind works.  So as I was driving down the road today I must have been looking at something that caused the glow to happen. The minute I noticed it panic started to grip hold of me. But suddenly the words “Jesus please take this” came out of my mouth and then I began to thank him for all he has done for me.  Within a matter of second’s peace replaced the fear.

It took me a few minutes before I realized what had just happened.  I remember a time I would go and cower in fear at the first inkling of panic with it eventually turning into a full blown panic attack.  I realized today that I didn’t do that, I realized that somewhere along the line I have learned how to face my fear with strength in knowing God has it under control.  Wow it was so cool to realize that I now take security in the fact that panic does not own me because I chose to let go of it.

Over the years I have found out that a lot of people don’t understand my panic attacks and to some people a fear of nothing seems silly.  But to me the fear I feel in a panic attack is very real and is something way bigger than I can deal with.  I now know that the fear was never mine to deal with in the first place.

When God created us he did not give us fear instead he gave us strength. He gave us the strength that can only come from him.  All we have to do is call on him, trust in the fact that he is bigger than our fear.  Once we believe and trust him we can relax and live in his peace.

Dear Jesus
Thank you for the peace that you just gave me. I know that if not for you sometimes panic would overtake me. Thank you for giving me security in knowing that when I call out your name you will grab onto my hand and lead me back to peace. I trust you and I know you are faithful. I know that nothing here on this earth can separate me from the peace that I have in you. When anxiety and panic sneak in and try to grip me I know where to turn to find peace. When I turn to you, your peace wafts over me, and takes away my fear. Thank you for loving me and surrounding me with you power.
Love,
T

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For the Hard Days and Every Day

Psalm 2911

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The Lord gives strength to his people; the Lord blesses his people with peace.  Psalm 29:11

He will give you the strength and the peace you need today and every day.

Blessings,

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All is Good

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This morning I awoke, to my husband waking me up to give me good-bye kiss before he left for work. After he left I then lay there thinking about how thankful I am for him and for our life together.  I thought about how things could have turned out had God not came into our lives.  As lay there thinking happy thoughts, rain started tapping on the roof and I  drifted back off to sleep. I slept for about another hour and woke up to sunshine streaming through the curtains realizing that what I thought was going to be a rainy day now was a sunny day. I looked outside and saw this beautiful mess on my deck and a feeling of contentment and peace washed over me.

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Not to long after I woke up I received an email from a friend that contained a blog post by Randy Alcorn called turning Bad into Best. In the post it said ‘take some time to list the worst things that have ever happened to you, then list the best things. You’ll be astonished by how many of those best things came out of the worst things’

I decided to make a list and I soon found out that what the writer said was true; most of the best things on my list did come out of the worst things.  I won’t put the lists I made on here but I will share with you that there was one thing that stood out on the top of both lists…The best thing that ever happened to me in my life was that I was saved by Jesus and guess what….it was during one of the worst points of my life.

I have been walking with Jesus for about 4 and half years now.  It has been a tremendous time of change and to be honest it has has been one tough time.  Life did not become awesome the minute I was saved, actually it became more complicated.  I also have had a whole lot of health problems over the past 4 years but oddly through each one something good came from it. At times it seemed like life was  crumbling around me but  now I look back and can see that God was molding me and helping me get my priorities in line.  Now things seem to be solid and strong and it seems to me as if I have pretty much walked into a whole new life, actually a better life.

Reflecting back over the list I made today it looks as if I lost a lot but what amazes me is how much more I have gained. I now have more than I ever hoped for, and more than I ever could imagine.  What I have now is love, faith, trust, hope, peace, security, and joy. Joy, I have joy 🙂  I am thankful.

I started my day today feeling peace and contentment, I shall end it on the same note.

Thank you so much for reading, below are a few of the gifts God gave me as I went through my day today and I would like to share them with you.

Enjoy…

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God bless you and good night,

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To read the rest of the posts in this series you can click here – 31 Days of Hushin’ My Mouth

 

Words of Truth

Words of truth….

Isaiah41;10

Blessings,

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To read the rest of the posts in this series you can click here – 31 Days of Hushin’ My Mouth

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Disaster’s Pass

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Retina scan September 3, 2014 – Vitreous gel pulling on my retina stretching it into a cone shape.

I will take refuge in the shadow of your wings until the disaster has passed.~ Psalm 57:1

My friend Judy sent that scripture to me.  As is I sit here in the retina doctor’s office once again I cling to that promise.

I have been thinking about Paul lately.  Paul was the first person I ever studied in the bible.  I was new to the Bible then. I was also new to Bible study class and having my first eye problem that first time I read about him.  He went blind, I was going blind in one eye, he was healed and I was healed, talk about God and perfect timing that was the most perfect of perfect time ever for me to be learning about him.  During that study I remember reading that Paul had some sort of thorn in his flesh I have often wondered why God did not take it from him.

Lately I am beginning to feel like these eye issues and health problems could possibly be my thorn.  It seems like this past couple of years I have had more health problems than I’ve had over my whole life.

I am wondering why I can’t seem to be well of my eye issues. For over 3 years now I have had eye stuff of some sort going on.  I get well and then something new comes along and not only do new eye issues come along some of them seem to be things that are ongoing and require a whole lot of waiting. I think I may be learning to be patient….This latest eye thing has been going on for over a year.

Something that I have recently noticed is that every single time I have some sort of health issue it seems like I usually end up I growing much closer to God during it.  I also noticed that each time I also seem to come out stronger somehow than I was before. I realized as I sit here today what a huge learning opportunity this whole ordeal has been.  Also how brave I have become.

I used to be afraid of the eye doctors, I remember being afraid for them to just look in my eyes.  I feared they may touch my eye.  To me eyes seem squishy and fragile and I get so squeamish to really look at or even think about them to much.

When my kids were young I could handle any crises with my kids like a pro.  We went through a few broken bones and several stitches and I was actually very calm…. But if they got something in their eye I would freak out!  I am the mom who drove her child a 30 minute drive to the eye doctor to have the doctor remove a stuck contact lens from the bottom of her eyeball because I was to squeamish to even look in her eye!

Now days when I visit the eye doctor they eye drop my eyes with drops that sting and then numbing drops to make them numb before they poke me with dangerously sharp looking instruments, while temporarily blinding me with the bright lights.  I have had my eye washed out with soap and had 3 eye injections! As I write this I realize that I seem to be a pro at the eye doctor now because most of that stuff does not phase me anymore.

Question for myself…. If I am such a pro then why do I dread being here so bad today?

Answer…. Because even though I feel confident in God I still do not like all this stuff, and I can’t say that I think I ever will like it.

The truth is I am really afraid of the unknown in my future sometimes.  What other new, painful and scary things will I have to go through?  Often over the past year have thought of Paul and all the horrible stuff he went through.  Nothing I have been through even comes close to the stuff he went through and yet he kept on trusting God, believing in him and telling people how awesome he was.  Could it be that going through hard stuff is actually a good thing?

A lot of people have been praying that God will heal this.  A week ago I thought he did heal me, the flashing in my eye had stopped and I started seeing perfect and I claimed my miracle. Now here I am a week later, sitting in the doctor’s office again with more flashing in my eyes, and a circle of light around my vision.  I want so badly for all of this to end but oddly at the same time I feel thankful for all that it has taught me…rely on God and trust him no matter what… Though this is going on today i still hear his voice telling me that everything is going to be okay.

Today as I travel through this minor rain shower I know there are people who are in a full out storm… As I am writing this I pause and I look around this room. As I look around I realize the room is full of people going through a storm of some sort. Do they know they are not alone?

I wrote the above today as I sat in the retina doctor’s waiting room waiting for my doctor to come in and examine me.  Where I ended it is where I was at when she came in the room.

This next part is what happened after she came in……

After my eyes were dilated and scanned the doctor told me that I had healed!  She told me that the drug she ordered to release the vitreous gel from pulling on my retina was no longer needed and that the macular hole had shrank! She thinks the hole it is healing though she told me that it is very rare for a macular hole to heal by itself.  I told her that it did not heal by itself that God had healed it 😀  I go back in a month to see for sure if the hole has healed completely, though I know already it will.

As sit here tonight I realize just how quickly things can change in a matter of minutes.  As you are going through your life today remember everything here on earth is temporary but God is forever.  Trust him with your life because he gave you your life.  If you know him share him with everyone because someone shared him with you. Just as my doctor came in today I had wondered if the people in the room knew they were not alone, from this day forward I want to take the time to make sure everyone I meet knows that they are not alone.  If you are reading this and don’t know Jesus take the time to find out more about him I promise you will be glad you did. Here is a good link with some information -> Know God.  Or if you have questions about God leave me a comment, I will be glad to answer as best I can.

So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand. Isaiah 41:1

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Retina, scan September 17, 2014 – Vitreous gel released, retina back to normal.

Pity Party Invite on Facebook

You all know I have this eye issue going on, well today I found out that my insurance company denied the treatment that would have hopefully kept me from having 2 eye surgeries.  The treatment only has a 50 percent chance of working but it will keep me from having to go through a surgery that could possibly cause me to be blind in my eye for 3 weeks to 4 months until some sort of gas bubble they will be putting in my eye dissolves and my eye fills back up with its own fluid (they will take out my own fluid).

As you saw in my last post I thought that the Vitreous gel had released off of my retina because the flashing had suddenly went away and also I could see better than I could in over a year and a half.  On Wednesday of last week a new flash started but I still can see really good, though I can see really good the flashing means the gel is still attached but some of it has released. If not for the insurance companies denial I would have had that injection this coming Wednesday.  As it stands now I have to make the decision to have the surgery or take a chance on my retina possibly detaching.

When I first found out this morning about all this I was furious, and still may be…How can the insurance company be allowed to play doctor when its MY eyesight at stake?  After I found out this news the first thing I did was call my insurance company and argue with them, then cry and even yell at them. I will admit I let them see the side of me I usually only reserve for my poor husband.  After that didn’t work I hurried up and sent my daughter a text telling her all about it.  She sympathized with me but seriously what did I think she could do to help the situation so of course my next course of action was to go to my phone and post this angry Facebook status…

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Of course you all know that was a great solution… Let me tell you I had a very large pity party this morning and I was inviting anyone and everyone who would want to join me. That would show those insurance company executives right??  After all I am sure they read my Facebook status every day and this mean comment with a lot of likes and comments that agreed would for sure make them rethink their decision~

I am sure you know by now I am just being sarcastic I know my insurance company does not see my Facebook statuses or my mean text about them to my daughter.  I did discover though that there is one person who did see my anger and frustration and also he saw my facebook post and that would be God…yep he saw it…  You know one time someone told me that in my Christian walk that before I did something I should think would I do this if God were sitting beside me?  Well guess what??… HE IS!  And sometimes he has this way of using other people to reel me in.  As soon as I posted right away I got a few likes… oh that made me feel good because people were agreeing and I even got an agreeable comment….But then the next comment shook me up.. “Don’t give up. Remember you have the Great Advocate working behind the scenes.”  I saw that comment on my phone just as I opened my curtains to a window that looks out over my back yard, my beautiful lovely green treed back yard with flowers blooming and sun shine streaming through it.  Right there in the middle of my anger I saw God is still working and I can see just fine still!  It made me feel ashamed because how did I manage to forget? … sheesh just last week I wrote a blog post about how I thought God had healed my eye.  Yes I have had new flashing since that post but I can still see great! Better than in over a year! Just the other day I told someone that I had claimed my miracle and I wasn’t going to give it back and now just because my insurance company denied a claim for a treatment I am acting like it’s the end of it all.

After I saw the beauty in my back yard, and comment on my Facebook status, I decided it was time to visit with God so I grabbed my Bible and went off for some quiet time with him.  As I was praying I felt led to open my Bible and when I did it opened to this page where for some reason a few things were underlined.  I am not sure why or when I underlined them but today what I realized is those words were the voice of God and I realized I could see it so clearly WITHOUT my glasses on in a Bible with writing so small I could not see it just a few short weeks ago.

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“I will be with you”

I went on to read the rest of the passage … Isaiah 43:2-3 When you pass through the waters I will be with you and when you pass through the rivers they will not sweep over you.  When you walk through the fire you will not be burned the flames will not set you ablaze, For I am the Lord your God, the Holy One of Israel your Savior.”

Wow after words like that I have nothing else to say other than, “I know God’s got this and thank you!”

Have a blessed day,

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Eye Update!

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Since my last post “Leaving Panic Behind Under Palapa #39” I have received many encouraging email messages and also comments on my blog.  I am just so humbled and amazed at the outpouring of love and prayers that have surrounded me in the past few days, from not only friends and family here beside me, but also from people who I have never met in person. The love I have felt touches me so deep inside that I feel my heart just may burst and I want to say thank you to each and every one of you  ❤

I went to the Retina specialist Wednesday and the news was that I have a stage 1 macular hole caused by the vitreous gel in my eye pulling on my retina. My doctor has ordered a drug called Jetrea that will be injected in my eye to hopefully dissolve the vitreous gel so that it will quit pulling on my retina. The Jetrea has a 50 percent chance of working. If it does not work then I will have to have eye surgery to remove the vitreous gel. I may have to surgery to fix the macular hole also depending on how it looks once the gel is not pulling on it anymore. For now I am supposed to be watching for anything new that happens in my eye such as floaters or new flashes of light because while the gel pulling on my retina it can make the hole bigger or possibly cause my retina to detach.

I wrote the above 2 nights ago night but did not get a chance to publish it and this is what happened since I wrote that……

When I got up yesterday morning my eye was very light sensitive and blurry.  I went to work where I spent most my morning on the computer. Some time during the late morning I realized that did not seem to be having as much trouble seeing and thought I was just getting used to my eye issue.  When I finished at work as I was going to town and I noticed once again that I seemed to be seeing much better but I still thought it was because I was just getting used to it.

As exited the interstate I realized that the flashes of light that I have seen for almost a year were gone! I also noticed that feeling of looking through cellophane in my eye was gone too!  I sat in a parking lot for 15 minutes moving my eyes all different directions to see if I could see the flash or the cellophane and no matter how I moved them I was right it had stopped! Those flashes in my sight have been very obvious every time I would move my eyes or blink but now they were gone. The feeling of seeing through cellophane started when the hole appeared but it was gone gone gone too! The only thing that I seem to have wrong is a small dot of vision right in the center of my eye is missing. 2 days ago the whole center of every word was blocked but now it is only a small dot on the center letter of each word and it is not very noticeable at all with both of my eyes open.  I am pretty sure that the dot of missing space is the macular hole but I truly think the vitreous gel has finally pulled off.

I called my retina doctor with this news and she did not seem to be impressed or believe me and she said she will see me in 2 weeks unless I have new flashes or floaters.  I am not a doctor but I really do think the gel pulled off and if that is what happened I will not have to have the Jetrea injection to make it dissolve. I noticed today that I am seeing much better than I have in over a year!

Anyway… that is the news I have so far and I hope I am right.  If I am not right at least something has happened that my vision seems to be improved, so either way the prayers are working and if my eye is really healing (and I am sure it is) this will be the 3rd miracle that God has given me on my eyes, you would think that by now when I tell my doctor I think I am better she would believe me 😀 I will let you know in 2 weeks what she says, Maybe the hole will heal too 😀

I also want to say something about prayer….When this first happened while I was laying there on that beach praying God immediately wrapped his arms around me and gave me such peace that I can never begin to explain it here.  That peace he gave me has held strong through it all and is still here.  Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God.  and the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. Philippians 4:6-7

I have no idea how many people have been praying for me I put a post on Facebook and have told everyone I know.  I used to be so uncomfortable to ask people to pray for me, but I have realized now how can can people know to pray for us if we do not ask? I could feel those prayers so much and I know that every  single one of those prayers were heard by God. He is answering them not only in the healing I have seen but I truly think it has even more to do with how much confidence I feel in him no matter what the outcome turns out to be.   Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged, for the LORD your God will be with you wherever you go.” Joshua 1:9 

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this photo is not mine and it came from Christine Cain’s facebook post.

Thank you for reading and once again for your prayers,

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