A Few Thoughts about Forgiveness

The Parable of the Unmerciful Servant – Matthew 18:21-35

21 Then Peter came to Jesus and asked, “Lord, how many times shall I forgive my brother or sister who sins against me? Up to seven times?”

22 Jesus answered, “I tell you, not seven times, but seventy-seven times.

23 “Therefore, the kingdom of heaven is like a king who wanted to settle accounts with his servants. 24 As he began the settlement, a man who owed him ten thousand bags of gold was brought to him. 25 Since he was not able to pay, the master ordered that he and his wife and his children and all that he had be sold to repay the debt.

26 “At this the servant fell on his knees before him. ‘Be patient with me,’ he begged, ‘and I will pay back everything.’ 27 The servant’s master took pity on him, canceled the debt and let him go.

28 “But when that servant went out, he found one of his fellow servants who owed him a hundred silver coins. He grabbed him and began to choke him. ‘Pay back what you owe me!’ he demanded.

29 “His fellow servant fell to his knees and begged him, ‘Be patient with me, and I will pay it back.’

30 “But he refused. Instead, he went off and had the man thrown into prison until he could pay the debt. 31 When the other servants saw what had happened, they were outraged and went and told their master everything that had happened.

32 “Then the master called the servant in. ‘You wicked servant,’ he said, ‘I canceled all that debt of yours because you begged me to. 33 Shouldn’t you have had mercy on your fellow servant just as I had on you?’ 34 In anger his master handed him over to the jailers to be tortured, until he should pay back all he owed.

35 “This is how my heavenly Father will treat each of you unless you forgive your brother or sister from your heart.”

When I first read the parable above the last two verses confused me.  At first glance I took it to say – ‘if we do not forgive someone we will be put in jail and tortured.’  Is that how you read it?  After all it does say in verse 34 “in anger his master handed him over to the jailers to be tortured until he paid back what he owed.” It then goes on to say in verse 35, “This is how my heavenly Father will treat each of you unless you forgive your brother or sister from your heart.”

When I asked to be forgiven of my sins and accepted Jesus Christ as my savior I know I did not become a perfect person. I still continue to make mistakes and yet he always forgives me.  There also have been times in my life that I was so hurt by someone that I had a really hard time forgiving them and it took me a long while to do it.  Thankfully eventually I did forgive them but what if I hadn’t?

If we don’t forgive someone is God going to throw us in jail and let us be tortured until we do? Or if we ask God to forgive us for not forgiving them are we then forgiven and given a get out of jail free card?

I would like to say that forgiving is an easy thing to do, but when we feel like someone has taken something from us, or they have done something that hurts us, we want them to know it and we want them to pay for it.  I often see in the news about horrendous acts of violence in which someone has been murdered and then later I will hear that the family has forgiven them, I know that has to be a really hard thing to do.  Something that terrible has never happened to me so I have no idea how that feels at all but I do know that to forgive is what Jesus has said we have to do here.  We have to forgive the debt, no matter how big and no matter what it is.

After thinking about this scripture for a while I got to thinking about how I have felt in the past when I have been angry at someone and did not forgive them right away.  What I realized is that when I don’t forgive someone anger and resentment starts building up inside of me and gradually my vision becomes clouded to the point that I can’t see God as well.  With all that anger clogging my mind it separates me from him in a way that makes it really hard to be at peace.

If we don’t forgive someone as time goes by we may think those feelings of anger and resentment went away but when we see the person again or think about them it comes boiling back up. Not forgiving someone boils underneath the surface, it never ever fully goes away it just sits there festering until it takes away our joy and it takes away our peace.

In a way isn’t that like we are locked up in a prison of our own making?

So could this parable mean that when we don’t forgive we are allowing ourselves be in our own prison right here right now until we choose to forgive?

This scripture doesn’t say we won’t get into Heaven or that God will be mean to us if we don’t forgive…what it says is ‘He turned him over to the jailers to be tortured’…  So maybe #34 & 35 mean to us that by not forgiving we are allowing satan to torture us with these feelings we harbor of anger and resentment and that we will not have peace until we pay back what we owe which is forgiveness.

The forgiveness that we owe is the forgiveness that Jesus gave us on the cross.  Jesus died for our sins while we were still sinners, so we need to die to our feelings of wanting to be paid back by others in what we think is rightfully ours, such as an apology, revenge or money.

God wants us to forgive others without expecting to receive anything at all back in return…forgive from our heart.  When we forgive from our heart then we can fully let all the anger and resentment go.  When we let all that stuff go then that is when we will experience true peace and the full gift of the forgiveness that God has given to us.

What are your thoughts on this parable ? Let me know what you think by leaving your  comment in the section below.

Thanks for reading,

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A Stubborn Little Guy

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Bart

The picture above is my cat Bart.  He’s sweetheart but sometimes Bart can be a stubborn little guy.

Today Bart came down the hall meowing at me the way he does when he wants me to pick him up, but when I reached down to pick him up he backed away.  I went back to what I was doing and a few minutes later he came back meowing again. I reached down to pick him up again and once again he backed away.  This time I decided to go after him and pick him up anyway.  But the closer I came to him the farther he would run away, letting me get close but never close enough to touch him.

Finally after a few minutes of this nonsense I stopped chasing after him and I shook my finger at him saying, “Bart, make up your mind!  I’m not going to beg you to let me pick you up. You’re the one who came crying to me but if your going to keep running away then don’t keep coming in here meowing at me every 15 minutes!”

About 15 minutes later he came back meowing and this time I tried hard to ignore him.

The more I ignored him the more louder he meowed.  Soon he began walking around my legs so that I could not walk or even begin to ignore him.  Sighing I reached down and this time he finally let me pick him up. I cuddled him and and told him I did not understand why he felt he had to be so stubborn all the time.   I then kept hugging and petting him letting him know how much I loved him.  I never figured out what it was that Bart wanted other than my attention and I am still not sure why that cat is so finicky like that.  It was very obvious he needed me to pick him up from the first time he meowed at me and it made not a bit of sense why he was so stubborn about letting me do it.

Later I got to thinking about Bart and I realized that is exactly how I behave with God sometimes.

A few days ago I did something that I know was not very pleasing to God. The day after I did it I felt terrible about what I had done. I quickly went to God and I apologized but for some reason after I apologized I still kept him at bay most of day. On and off all day I would go toward him but then I would back off.  Each time I came to him it felt to me like he was telling me it was okay to come to him but I just could not seem to let him get very close to me.  Though he was always there each time, something I notice now is that he never begged me to come to him and he never chased me down, he just waited. .

Finally later that afternoon after spending most the day running away I went to him and instead of ignoring me he reached down right away and scooped me up.  He listened to what I had to say and then he did the best thing of all he wrapped his arms around me and he let me know he still loved me anyway.

The thing I realized the most in all this is that God had already forgiven me for what I had done the day before and I had wasted a whole day running away from him because I had not yet forgiven myself (like I thought I could run away from God?!).  Sometimes I think forgiving myself is a pretty hard thing to do .  Thankfully God does forgive me and he wants ME to forgive me too.  I just have to quit being so stubborn and stop running away from him and trust in his promises. I need to just Let him love me like I truly know he does.

Just like my Cat Bart is a stubborn little guy I will admit his owner is sometimes a little stubborn too.

Do you have something that you need to talk to God about today? Don’t waste precious time being stubborn like I did and running away from God.  Instead run toward him.  I promise he will be there waiting for you. He really wants to listen to you and he loves you very much.

Have a blessed day and thanks for reading, T

 

Live Second Day 29: Release ~ I Have Nothing to Release…or Do I?

fb-60daysofSecond-24-300x300In November I told you about a project I was going to be a part of in which I and 14 other bloggers would be reading and blogging together through a new book called ‘Live Second: 365 Ways to make Jesus first’ by Doug Bender.  This is the first of my 4 posts.  You can also go to the I am second website and sign up to follow along as the other 14 bloggers and I journey through the book.  You can also get the ‘Live Second‘ book in stores NOW.

 

Day 29 of My Live Second Journey:  Release ~ I Have Nothing to Release…or Do I?

“Then the master called the servant in. ‘You wicked servant,’ he said, ‘I canceled all that debt of yours because you begged me to.  Shouldn’t you have had mercy on your fellow servant just as I had on you?’ Matthew 18:32-33

This Week’s Live Second – 365 Ways to Make Jesus First focus is on relationships.  The topic today is ‘Release’ based on scripture from Matthew 18:21-32.  In the scripture it talks about forgiving others as God has forgiven me.

When I read today’s topic I honestly thought I did not have anything going on in my life as far as forgiving or releasing that I would be able to work on. As far as I knew I did not think I had anyone I that needed to forgive…plus I usually forgive others pretty easily, at least that is what I thought when I read it.  Little did I know that in less than an hour I was going to have one of those days where God shows me I just might be wrong.

Shortly after I read today’s page of the book my husband said something to me that hurt my feelings.  Before I go any further rest assured that I am not going to use this blog to slam my husband, the assignment is to write about how I am going to apply what I read today in my life.  I will try to do the best I can without giving you all the unimportant details.

Within about 2 seconds of my husband’s hurtful comment I fired right back in a not so ‘WWJD’ type of fashion only to be met with a more hurtful statement than the first one.

Since the book reading was fresh in my mind I was a perfect angel and I was quick to apply what I had just read by forgiving him immediately and then apologizing for my own behavior… I wish I could say that statement was true but instead I fired right back at him in perfect ‘Terri’ form with things I am not so proud to say I said now and then I proceeded to carry the hurt and anger around for 3 days.  Yes you read right day 2 took me 3 days to figure out how I was going to ‘release’.

Forgiveness is really hard when you have been hurt.  Words can cut a person in half sometimes cutting clear to the bone exposing so deep you can almost feel them hit your soul.  How can I forgive when I feel so torn and ripped apart?   Especially when the person who did the hurting can not see they have caused a hurt so deep that I am still carrying it around?   How do I forgive when I am so darn mad?!?

Yesterday I started to think about what I had read and I asked myself ‘was I treating my husband with the same sort of grace that God has given me?’  I then prayed “God please help me to forgive my husband.  After praying I reluctantly decided to forgive him but then when I saw him before I could catch them the words “I forgive you for being an ass!” fell out of my mouth.   My husband then said, “You forgive me for being an ass??” as he kinda laughed. I know what I did was not really what the author of this book had in mind and I am pretty sure it most definitely is not what God would want me to do.  But in this instance it broke the ice… the ice on my frozen heart.

As he said the words “you forgive me” with a glimmer of humor in his eyes at that moment God convicted me of my behavior… Yes you read right, my own behavior.  My husband had hurt my feelings but it was not until that moment that I realized that I was carrying around so much more anger at him than I even knew I was carrying.  I am not sure why but I think I had been keeping a tally of every thing he had ever done or said to ‘hurt’ me.   The problem with that is when we have arguments I go back to seeing those past things instead of focusing on what is going on right now at this moment.   The minute I asked Jesus to be my savior and to forgive me of my sins the slate was wiped clean and now it was time for me to do the same.

A few minutes later found my self apologizing to my husband and the next thing I knew he said he was sorry to me also.

I know this will not apply in every circumstance and our issue was a minor compared to what others may be facing. But I do know that when we release that anger and live with the same type of forgiveness God gives to us it allows for wounds to begin to heal.

How will I live more second today?  By trying to remember that the only way I can have peace in this life and be able to let the light of Jesus shine by giving the same grace to others that God has given to me by forgiving and then learning to truly release it. 6358_10151161186987337_818276027_n

Come visit tomorrow for Day 30:   Love ~ Love Across the Miles.

Thank you for reading.

#IASrealease