The words to a song have been running through my head today and I can’t seem get them out.  I realized earlier that maybe they are there because the words are kinda like words to a prayer… a prayer I have been praying all day.

The last couple of weeks have been full of a lot of emotions that have been all over the place for me. I have had emotions in so many different directions, they have been happy, sad, fun, hard and quite a bit confusing at times. First off I was on a mission trip to Haiti, that was a good trip, though heartbreaking at times it was also a blessing and I saw God working so much there. But also while I was in Haiti I came to the realization that God is leading me toward a place that seems way out of my comfort zone and to be honest quite scary to me.

The second thing that happened is I have two best friends, one I have been friends with for over 25 years and one I have been friends with since I was a little girl, one friend moved away the week before I went to Haiti, the other friend passed away while I was in Haiti. It is odd losing both your best friends within 2 weeks time. The one friend can still call me but she is in an area right now that I have to wait for her to call, because her phone signal isn’t very good.  Though we can talk on the phone its still not like the everyday chats we always had, calling each other up every single morning and also several times a day just to tell each other silly things that were going on.

The third thing that happened is my husband got a new job while I was in Haiti so now he has been working in the evenings since I got back and it feels really strange to me to have so much alone time. I just got used to him being home all the time and now he is gone.

As I mentioned a few paragraphs back, while I was in Haiti I came to the realization that God is leading me toward a place that seems way out of my comfort zone and scary to me. With no one to mull things over with it has been hard. I keep trying to talk to God about it but he has been silent these past few days. Though I will admit I am a bit of a loner and I usually do like my space I have to say it has been a little more quiet than I would like it to be around here.

I keep telling myself that there is a reason for all of this and I am sure there is.  I know that God has a plan in place and sooner or later he will show me what I am supposed to do.  He has never failed me in the past, but the waiting for him to reveal what it is He wants me to do is sometimes really hard for me.  I am not to good at waiting and anyone who knows me knows that patience is not one of my specialties.

I am not really sure what this blog post is about today other than I feel pretty down about my friends and my life seems to be pretty confusing to me right now.  Also I wanted to share this song that has been stuck in my head today, thanks for listening and I hope you enjoy it.

I will trust in You
You’ve never failed before
I will trust in You

If there’s a road I should walk
Help me find it
If I need to be still
Give me peace for the moment
Whatever Your will
Whatever Your will
Can you help me find it
Can you help me find it

Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding.  Proverbs 3:5