Retina scan September 3, 2014 – Vitreous gel pulling on my retina stretching it into a cone shape.
I will take refuge in the shadow of your wings until the disaster has passed.~ Psalm 57:1
My friend Judy sent that scripture to me. As is I sit here in the retina doctor’s office once again I cling to that promise.
I have been thinking about Paul lately. Paul was the first person I ever studied in the bible. I was new to the Bible then. I was also new to Bible study class and having my first eye problem that first time I read about him. He went blind, I was going blind in one eye, he was healed and I was healed, talk about God and perfect timing that was the most perfect of perfect time ever for me to be learning about him. During that study I remember reading that Paul had some sort of thorn in his flesh I have often wondered why God did not take it from him.
Lately I am beginning to feel like these eye issues and health problems could possibly be my thorn. It seems like this past couple of years I have had more health problems than I’ve had over my whole life.
I am wondering why I can’t seem to be well of my eye issues. For over 3 years now I have had eye stuff of some sort going on. I get well and then something new comes along and not only do new eye issues come along some of them seem to be things that are ongoing and require a whole lot of waiting. I think I may be learning to be patient….This latest eye thing has been going on for over a year.
Something that I have recently noticed is that every single time I have some sort of health issue it seems like I usually end up I growing much closer to God during it. I also noticed that each time I also seem to come out stronger somehow than I was before. I realized as I sit here today what a huge learning opportunity this whole ordeal has been. Also how brave I have become.
I used to be afraid of the eye doctors, I remember being afraid for them to just look in my eyes. I feared they may touch my eye. To me eyes seem squishy and fragile and I get so squeamish to really look at or even think about them to much.
When my kids were young I could handle any crises with my kids like a pro. We went through a few broken bones and several stitches and I was actually very calm…. But if they got something in their eye I would freak out! I am the mom who drove her child a 30 minute drive to the eye doctor to have the doctor remove a stuck contact lens from the bottom of her eyeball because I was to squeamish to even look in her eye!
Now days when I visit the eye doctor they eye drop my eyes with drops that sting and then numbing drops to make them numb before they poke me with dangerously sharp looking instruments, while temporarily blinding me with the bright lights. I have had my eye washed out with soap and had 3 eye injections! As I write this I realize that I seem to be a pro at the eye doctor now because most of that stuff does not phase me anymore.
Question for myself…. If I am such a pro then why do I dread being here so bad today?
Answer…. Because even though I feel confident in God I still do not like all this stuff, and I can’t say that I think I ever will like it.
The truth is I am really afraid of the unknown in my future sometimes. What other new, painful and scary things will I have to go through? Often over the past year have thought of Paul and all the horrible stuff he went through. Nothing I have been through even comes close to the stuff he went through and yet he kept on trusting God, believing in him and telling people how awesome he was. Could it be that going through hard stuff is actually a good thing?
A lot of people have been praying that God will heal this. A week ago I thought he did heal me, the flashing in my eye had stopped and I started seeing perfect and I claimed my miracle. Now here I am a week later, sitting in the doctor’s office again with more flashing in my eyes, and a circle of light around my vision. I want so badly for all of this to end but oddly at the same time I feel thankful for all that it has taught me…rely on God and trust him no matter what… Though this is going on today i still hear his voice telling me that everything is going to be okay.
Today as I travel through this minor rain shower I know there are people who are in a full out storm… As I am writing this I pause and I look around this room. As I look around I realize the room is full of people going through a storm of some sort. Do they know they are not alone?
I wrote the above today as I sat in the retina doctor’s waiting room waiting for my doctor to come in and examine me. Where I ended it is where I was at when she came in the room.
This next part is what happened after she came in……
After my eyes were dilated and scanned the doctor told me that I had healed! She told me that the drug she ordered to release the vitreous gel from pulling on my retina was no longer needed and that the macular hole had shrank! She thinks the hole it is healing though she told me that it is very rare for a macular hole to heal by itself. I told her that it did not heal by itself that God had healed it 😀 I go back in a month to see for sure if the hole has healed completely, though I know already it will.
As sit here tonight I realize just how quickly things can change in a matter of minutes. As you are going through your life today remember everything here on earth is temporary but God is forever. Trust him with your life because he gave you your life. If you know him share him with everyone because someone shared him with you. Just as my doctor came in today I had wondered if the people in the room knew they were not alone, from this day forward I want to take the time to make sure everyone I meet knows that they are not alone. If you are reading this and don’t know Jesus take the time to find out more about him I promise you will be glad you did. Here is a good link with some information -> Know God. Or if you have questions about God leave me a comment, I will be glad to answer as best I can.
So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand. Isaiah 41:1
Retina, scan September 17, 2014 – Vitreous gel released, retina back to normal.
A Story By Me 
Dear T as you shared life brings trouble but not from God , but yes He brings good out of everything in our lives, Jesus told us we would have trouble and to Trust in Him to help us, as you are doing, we never need to fear He will never leave us in the darkness or in the Light.
Paul’s Thorn was because of His flesh, He had the sin of worldly Pride, which meant he had separated himself from God and given Satan a foothold, he shared about his battle with his Carnal flesh in Romans7 and than told us what to do about it in Romans 6 and 8 and other Scriptures, we all need to put it to death by The Spirit. Later he was healed and as we know could see clearly.
I also Love……. Psalm 57:1 and Psalm 91:4- 16 “He will cover us with His feathers, and under His wings. I have Posted about this Truth, yes I will leave a link for you but not sure when I will be able to respond if you comment, as I will be waiting now for my new Modem, I just finished letting you and my other Blogging friends know what happened and why.
God’s Wings – http://freedomborn.wordpress.com/2012/02/04/gods-wings/
Keeping you in Prayer – Christian Love Always – Anne.
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Hi Anne, Thank you for all 3 of your comments and the links. I love the Psalm about the feathers and the wings too ❤ Paul is one of my favorite people that I have studied. I am not sure if that is because it was my first study or if I just really loved his story. I often find my self still interested in it. I hope you get your modem up and running real soon!
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\(^_^)/
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🙂
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Terri I seriously love reading your post, this is a really good one.
they give so much hope, I love the way you dissect the scriptures and add it to everyday life. When I saw the title in my email, my anxiety was back, well it doesn’t take much to do that. For me sight is one of the most wonderful gift from God. To imagine your worries and there must be, it does fill me with dread. I pray that your sight will get better and better. God said ask and it shall be given, and I know you are asking. So yes like Paul keep the faith. It’s selfish of me too, as I thought oh no, Terri won’t be able to write her blog, 🙂 that’s the human side. My spirit side tells me, you will be ok. deep down I know you will, as in a strange sort of way you are helping me to stay on track. God also knows what we all need. I know God knows this, as he knows the plans he have for us.
God has made you very brave Terri, you are certainly not alone.
Matthew 6:25-34New International Version (NIV)
Do Not Worry
25 “Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothes? 26 Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? 27 Can any one of you by worrying add a single hour to your life[a]?
28 “And why do you worry about clothes? See how the flowers of the field grow. They do not labor or spin. 29 Yet I tell you that not even Solomon in all his splendor was dressed like one of these. 30 If that is how God clothes the grass of the field, which is here today and tomorrow is thrown into the fire, will he not much more clothe you—you of little faith? 31 So do not worry, saying, ‘What shall we eat?’ or ‘What shall we drink?’ or ‘What shall we wear?’ 32 For the pagans run after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them. 33 But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. 34 Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.
God bless my sister.
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Beverley thank you so much, your encouragement and prayers and scripture. after my visit to the doctor yesterday it was such an affirmation of what God had already told me, that he had it all under control that I really truly know it now. Funny what you said about me not being able to write my blog…I am a pretty determined person I guess I would just have to do a video blog but since I wouldn’t be able to see I may have had dirt on my face or something between my teeth 😀
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Hi again T , you have already commented on God’s wings but you may also find the other link in my response to you, encouraging and uplifting.
Blessings – Anne.
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I meant to say also T but got lost answering about Paul, that it’s wonderful news and I also think it’s great that you continued to Trust God when all looked dark and are still holding on firm to the assurance He has given you.
Christian Love Always – Anne
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Thank you Anne, I can’t thank him enough today it’s like I have new eyes, everything I see reminds me now of the wonderful gift he has given me not only in my sight but also in the lessons he has taught me through all this.
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Hey T
Good stuff- For what’s its worth, I know somebody who had identical issues as you with retina-
In time, all was good, and the ‘flashes’ came and went, but you know that as long as there is a God in heaven, you will not be over burdened-
I have a friend, Cindy, who has a blog at RemnantRefuge, who just wrote a stunning piece called ‘tempest mine,’ i’ll bet there is a word for you there. Tell her ‘jack’ sent you- 😉
All the best T
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Thank you for sharing about your friend, I am glad to know that someone else had a good outcome too. Also thank you for telling me about Cindy’s blog, I went over and read her post, wow that was really really good! I had to share it on Tacebook and Twitter and I emailed it to a friend. It was so true and like you said there was a word for me there 🙂
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That is hilarious Terri, great sense of humour, I would still watch the video blogs, dirt and all, I would laugh though. God bless.
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