You all know I have this eye issue going on, well today I found out that my insurance company denied the treatment that would have hopefully kept me from having 2 eye surgeries.  The treatment only has a 50 percent chance of working but it will keep me from having to go through a surgery that could possibly cause me to be blind in my eye for 3 weeks to 4 months until some sort of gas bubble they will be putting in my eye dissolves and my eye fills back up with its own fluid (they will take out my own fluid).

As you saw in my last post I thought that the Vitreous gel had released off of my retina because the flashing had suddenly went away and also I could see better than I could in over a year and a half.  On Wednesday of last week a new flash started but I still can see really good, though I can see really good the flashing means the gel is still attached but some of it has released. If not for the insurance companies denial I would have had that injection this coming Wednesday.  As it stands now I have to make the decision to have the surgery or take a chance on my retina possibly detaching.

When I first found out this morning about all this I was furious, and still may be…How can the insurance company be allowed to play doctor when its MY eyesight at stake?  After I found out this news the first thing I did was call my insurance company and argue with them, then cry and even yell at them. I will admit I let them see the side of me I usually only reserve for my poor husband.  After that didn’t work I hurried up and sent my daughter a text telling her all about it.  She sympathized with me but seriously what did I think she could do to help the situation so of course my next course of action was to go to my phone and post this angry Facebook status…

Of course you all know that was a great solution… Let me tell you I had a very large pity party this morning and I was inviting anyone and everyone who would want to join me. That would show those insurance company executives right??  After all I am sure they read my Facebook status every day and this mean comment with a lot of likes and comments that agreed would for sure make them rethink their decision~

I am sure you know by now I am just being sarcastic I know my insurance company does not see my Facebook statuses or my mean text about them to my daughter.  I did discover though that there is one person who did see my anger and frustration and also he saw my facebook post and that would be God…yep he saw it…  You know one time someone told me that in my Christian walk that before I did something I should think would I do this if God were sitting beside me?  Well guess what??… HE IS!  And sometimes he has this way of using other people to reel me in.  As soon as I posted right away I got a few likes… oh that made me feel good because people were agreeing and I even got an agreeable comment….But then the next comment shook me up.. “Don’t give up. Remember you have the Great Advocate working behind the scenes.”  I saw that comment on my phone just as I opened my curtains to a window that looks out over my back yard, my beautiful lovely green treed back yard with flowers blooming and sun shine streaming through it.  Right there in the middle of my anger I saw God is still working and I can see just fine still!  It made me feel ashamed because how did I manage to forget? … sheesh just last week I wrote a blog post about how I thought God had healed my eye.  Yes I have had new flashing since that post but I can still see great! Better than in over a year! Just the other day I told someone that I had claimed my miracle and I wasn’t going to give it back and now just because my insurance company denied a claim for a treatment I am acting like it’s the end of it all.

After I saw the beauty in my back yard, and comment on my Facebook status, I decided it was time to visit with God so I grabbed my Bible and went off for some quiet time with him.  As I was praying I felt led to open my Bible and when I did it opened to this page where for some reason a few things were underlined.  I am not sure why or when I underlined them but today what I realized is those words were the voice of God and I realized I could see it so clearly WITHOUT my glasses on in a Bible with writing so small I could not see it just a few short weeks ago.

“I will be with you”

I went on to read the rest of the passage … Isaiah 43:2-3 When you pass through the waters I will be with you and when you pass through the rivers they will not sweep over you.  When you walk through the fire you will not be burned the flames will not set you ablaze, For I am the Lord your God, the Holy One of Israel your Savior.”

Wow after words like that I have nothing else to say other than, “I know God’s got this and thank you!”

Have a blessed day,