I looked around the room and all the sudden I could barely keep my composure. I felt my eyes beginning to fill up with tears threatening to pour down my face. I averted my eyes to the pages of my book while I tried to blink the tears back before anyone saw them. It was not sadness that caused my tears it was an overwhelming feeling of love and blessedness.
Today was the last day of our women’s Bible study class until January. As we were discussing what we had read that week all of the sudden the feelings had hit me. How did I get here? I asked myself? Three years ago I would never have believed I would be in a church, let alone in a Bible study class. I now found myself sitting there surrounded by a whole room full of new people in my life with these feelings of thankfulness and love.
These feelings kept creeping in on me the whole class threatening to make me cry in front of everyone. I am still so amazed that some how some way God made me see I needed him and that he actually wanted me. I still sometimes can barely believe He is allowing me to be a part of all this. I remember thinking being a Christian was to be a part of some private club that I could not be a part of because I was not good enough or smart enough.
Why would God want me? How did he take who I was 3 years ago and turn me into who I am today? It amazes me that he could do that. He took someone who did not believe in Him, who was such a mess and He forgave me for all those years of denial and bad behavior and the most awesome thing is that he also forgot about all that bad stuff.
It also amazes me that He allows me to do things for Him. Me? I know and have heard people say that God does not call the equipped instead he equips those he calls. I have read many stories in the Bible of God equipping those he called and also from my own personal experiences with God I know is very true now. I know I could never do the things He asks me to do on my own. He always comes through leaving me in awe and with another huge blessing I never expected. His blessings are so amazing and sometimes very overwhelming to me.
When I got home from Bible study today I told a friend about the feelings I had and I asked how did this happen? I don’t feel as if I deserve so many blessings. My friends answer was perfect He said “How do you think the song Amazing Grace came about? We do not deserve anything and when we realize that it makes all the difference.
I know my friend is right. Each blessing we receive is a gift from God. He does not give us those blessings because we deserve them He gives them to us because He loves us. I am so glad He loves me.
1 John 4:19 we love because he first loved us
Thanks for reading 🙂