Spreading His Wings

My son is packing his things.  There seems to be something really wrong with that.  He can’t be moving out yet because just yesterday he moved in.

Wasn’t it just yesterday he came into my life crying at the top of his lungs as he took his first breath?  I really do think it was just yesterday I that I looked into his eyes for the first time as his little hand grabbed onto my finger holding on tightly, letting me know how much he needed me.  I know it was just yesterday that he wobbled across the floor as he took his first steps as we all clapped with excitement.  Just yesterday he was so excited about his first day of kindergarten.  He was going to get to ride the big yellow school bus for the first time, he was so happy.  I remember following the bus to school nervous to let him go, thinking how could my baby be so big already?  I know now I didn’t have a clue then how fast he would grow up and that one day I would  have to let him go off into a bigger world than kindergarten.

The years whizzed by so fast.  I see a blur of things now, I remember him riding his bicycle without the training wheels for the first time as I hid my face trying not to look afraid he would crash, yet not being able to tear my eyes away as he smiled and laughed so full of joy.  Just yesterday I sat in the stands and watched as his little league team won the all star tournament.  His dad was the coach and they both jumped around whooping and hollering it was so fun to see their faces. The years began to fly by so fast that before I knew it he had started Junior high school.  Then only in what felt like a few days later, he started high school, got his drivers license, and went on his first date.  Before I could catch my breath he had graduated High school.

Can it really be true that he has been mine for almost 21 years now?  Can it really be possible that he is the exact same age as his father was when I met him 31 years ago?  I am just amazed at how fast the time flew by.  It seems as if we went from diapers and bottles to cars and girls in just a blink of an eye.  I then blinked a second time and found myself today watching him pack his stuff, getting ready to go off into the world on his own.  I see the excitement in his face and it reminds me of a little boy I once knew.  A little boy who used to get all dressed in his baseball gear hours before it was time to go play his game. The boy who impatiently waited his eyes dancing with excitement asking “is it time to go yet?” every few minutes.

Now he is getting ready again, waiting to go off to play a new game.  I new chapter in his life, one in which mom and dad won’t be taking him to because he is spreading his wings flying off bravely on his own.   Mom and dad will still be here for him but from a different perspective now.  We will be watching him be the man we always knew one day he would become but never expected would arrive so soon.  He is my last child to move out and I have a huge mixture of emotions going on inside of me at the moment.  I feel sad he is moving out but also I feel happy and excited for him heading out on his new adventure.   I know this is the way its supposed to be and that I cant keep him forever, but to me he will always be my little boy.   Though it’s hard for me to let him go I know I must, it’s his time to fly.

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