Passing through the Storm only to Find Another Cloud

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I’m not usually a quitter but by the end of the day yesterday that’s exactly where I was…ready to quit!

I woke up yesterday morning to the sound of my alarm at 6 am. I was exhausted from a long night of tossing and turning and my heart had been racing all night.

I have been having an irregular heartbeat on and off for a couple of weeks now and during these episodes my heart beats erratically and I get light headed.  Sometimes feel like I’m going to pass out. I really haven’t been feeling very well at all lately and the racing was really starting to frighten me a whole lot.  Last week I had lab testing done by my doctor and now I was going to see her for my lab results and so she could check me out some more.

Other than the crazy heartbeat it was a pretty routine morning of me getting ready to leave the house but then suddenly as I was walking down the hall  my knee just seemed to come out from under me sending me face first into the floor.

Ten minutes later I sat on my couch with ice bags on my face and both knees assessing the damage… I had a bloody nose, a small cut inside my top lip, a very swollen top lip and nose, a massive headache and both knees hurting and beginning to swell. Thankfully though I had no major injuries.

A couple of hours later I made it my doctor’s appointment where I received the news that my heart isn’t getting enough oxygen to my body and that I am diabetic and my blood pressure is high.

I left the doctor’s office as the owner of a new diet, a prescription for high blood pressure medicine, and an order to turn in for my very own heart monitor :'(

So like I said in the beginning of this post… I am not usually a quitter but by the end of the day yesterday that’s exactly where I was.

Ready to quit…

I felt like I needed a break from the day, or maybe it was the world.  Either way all I wanted to do was crawl in my bed, close my eyes, and hide under the covers forever. I seem to be having an overabundance of hard stuff anymore. I usually try my best to keep my head up and look to the good stuff, but today it was hard to see through the tears. I don’t mean to sound like I am complaining… seriously there is a whole lot that is good in my life…But…I do have to say though that in the middle of all that good stuff there also seems to be one hard thing right after another. When one thing stops it seems like something else always starts up. I’ve had one illness right after another for almost 5 years now. People around me are sick too and a whole lot of stuff is always happening in my family. If this is just a season it’s been way too long of a season and I’m ready to get on with a new one. I can’t begin to count how many times I’ve passed through the storm and came out on the other side only to see the sun quickly being covered by another cloud.

Last night I think I may have finally hit my breaking point, crawled under the covers put my headphones on and lay there listening to Pandora hoping to fall asleep.

I heard two songs, both had words that just seemed picked out perfectly for me.
Praise you in This Storm and Eye of the Storm

Coincidence?

I think not.

After hearing those songs I felt at peace and went right to sleep. I finally got some rest last night and I woke up today in a way better mood.

Life isn’t always easy; the truth is sometimes it’s just plain hard.

I still have the same problems this morning when I woke up that I went to sleep with.

But I am so glad I got up and faced the day today, because today things seemed to not be as bad as they felt when I went to sleep last night.

I felt at peace and now I can see all that is good again.

Actually today was a really good day.

Oh and by the way since the fall yesterday I have not had any irregular heartbeats. When the doctor was checking me out yesterday and I told her that since I had fallen it hadn’t happened anymore she said that it is actually possible that the adrenaline rush shocked my heart back into a regular rhythm… Sounds crazy but its been over 24 hours and so far so good! Thank you God!

Before you leave today check out this song by Ryan Stevenson – Eye of the Storm

Music Monday ~ What We All Need Most

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Jesus.

There is power in His name…

That song played for me last week just as I was about to have unscheduled exit from and MRI machine about 25 minutes too early.

I have walked huge flights of stairs to avoid elevators, sat on the isle on airplanes and sometimes I even leave rooms of people because I feel panicky like tight places. So when the technician put me in the MRI machine and my face was about 8 inches from the top along with the fact that the tube was so small my arms had to be squished above my head, I panicked and told her to let me out.

But….

Just as she was starting to pull me out of the machine that song came over the headphones they had placed on my ears before putting me in.

There is power 
In the name of Jesus
There is power
Power in His name

Determination suddenly filled me and the words “never mind I am good” came out of my mouth.

She said, “are you sure?”

“Yes I am!” I replied as I closed my eyes and began singing along…

There is power 
In the name of Jesus
There is power
Power in His name

No fear, no lie
Can stand against us now
He is here
The Word has come
To silence every doubt
He is here

One name, one name can save
One name breaks every chain
One name, always
One name, Jesus
One name, one name remains
One name, we will proclaim
One name, always
One name

There is power
In the name of Jesus
There is power
Power in His name (words by Lincoln Brewster)

Every song that played after that one was perfectly orchestrated by God. Even a message the radio announcer gave about worry was sent by Him too.

Seek the kingdom of God and he will give you everything you need’.

What I did need right then was peace and Jesus came along with me in the MRI and He gave me just what I needed to get through it… peace.

Have a wonderful day and a great week and don’t forget to add your link to your Music Monday post in the link-up below!

Terri Siebert

 

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A Time to Rest

A Tme to Rest

As she was blow drying her hair she happened to catch a glimpse of herself in the mirror.

Suddenly she stopped drying her hair and took a closer look.

She didn’t like what she saw in her reflection today.

Instead of the young joyful person she used to be, today her reflection showed a worn out and tired looking old woman.

She suddenly realized what she saw in her reflection was for real… this was really her and YES she was truly exhausted!

How did she get to this place? When did she become so exhausted? And why did she look so old and worn out?? Not to long ago she was doing great. She even had pictures of herself that proved it. Not too long ago her outside appearance had shown a reflection of the joy she had felt on the inside.  But now as she looked in the mirror today her outside reflection was showing a totally different person.

When had it happened? Could it really be possible that in such a short amount of time her life had changed so drastically? The answer to that question was yes.  In the blink of an eye the way she saw her world had changed.  She used to think she was ready for this sort of thing, but from the way she was feeling inside and now  in looking at her reflection in the mirror she didn’t like what she was seeing.

Looking at her reflection she realized her outward appearance reflected the downward spiral she was on. When had she given up? This wasn’t the sort of person she was. She had never been a quitter but today she realized that’s exactly what she had done.

She had quit.

Somewhere along the line she unconsciously had made the decision to give up, but today she knew it was time to stand back up.

It was time to make a change but to change she had a new choice to make…

She could continue to be a victim to her circumstances and continue on this downward spiral, or she could make the decision to grab on to the hand that had been reaching out to help her.

Today she decided it was time to stop fighting alone, because fighting alone wasn’t doing anything at all except exhausting her.

Today she realized it was time for her to rest in the arms of the one who would help her fight this fight or better yet fight this fight for her.

It was time to stop worrying about what may or may not happen and instead live in this moment right here right now.

This moment may still be hard and yes it may still be painful, but she didn’t have to live in it alone.

Today she was tired but she finally knew it was time…

Come to me all who are weary and burdened and I will give you rest.

Today it was time for her to REST in the arms of her Savior.

Are you going through a hard time right now? Is life making you tired? Or maybe you have already given up? You don’t have to go through any of this alone.  Jesus is waiting for you. You can take his hand or if you want to you can dive into His arms.  Both are open wide and He is ready to help you, all you have to do is come….  Come to me all who are weary and burdened and I will give you rest. – Matthew 11:28

Terri Siebert

Falling Off the Mountain and Landing at the Top

Sometimes life hurts

No matter how good things are going sometimes things just happen to ruin a good day.

Things are going great then out of nowhere something or someone blindsides you.

Today I was having a great day and then out of nowhere something happened that just blew me right off my mountaintop.

Within a matter of a few minutes it seemed as if everything around me was spinning out of control and it just kept getting worse and worse. I tried to make it stop but it was out of my hands. One minute I was flying high and the next I was tumbling down the side of the mountain as the valley below seemed to open up and suck me in until I couldn’t breathe.

I needed air.

I had to get away from the situation.

I ran out of my house and got in my car and just drove….

I had no where to go but just kept driving, trying to catch my breath and figure out what had just happened.  Every way I looked at the situation none of it made sense.

It just hurt.

I hurt so bad I wanted to just drive…

Drive away as far as I could go…

Drive and drive.

How could this happen?

I asked God why?

I told him I didn’t know what to do.

I asked him for help.

God I know you are here!  Please show me you are here, show me you have this under control!

And then I saw it

This….

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You know it was not that long ago I would not have seen this as clearly as I saw it today.  Less than a month ago God gave me a miracle, one that I will never forget.  He gave me the gift of my perfect eyesight.  Something I have not had for a long time. Something I would never have been thankful for until I lost part of it and received it back.  In the midst of the storm God reminded me of that.  He reminded me He is big and though things right now may seem out of control he still has everything under control.

As I write this I am back at home again.  After seeing the rainbow light in the clouds I pulled over for a while and hung out with God as the sun set.  I still feel sad about the bad stuff that happened today, but I do feel comforted by the fact that right in the middle of something so dark God’s light was still shining bright and I know that know matter how this all turns out I will be alright.

4 Even though I walk
    through the darkest valley,
I will fear no evil,
    for you are with me;
your rod and your staff,
    they comfort me.

5 You prepare a table before me
    in the presence of my enemies.
You anoint my head with oil;
    my cup overflows.
6 Surely your goodness and love will follow me
    all the days of my life,
and I will dwell in the house of the Lord
    forever.  ~ Psalm 23:4-6

 

God's Got You


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