My Hope is You ~ Music Monday

“How are you today?”

How many times have you answered that question with “good” when you really wanted to reply with this – “I’m just terrible!  I haven’t been feeling well lately and I have a whole lot of stuff going on in life that’s really hard to deal with!”

Sometimes as Christians I think we have this idea in our heads that just because we have Jesus we should be feeling happy all the time. I also think that when a prayer goes seemingly unanswered that makes things even harder.

Our God is supposed to answer every prayer…right?? But what happens when he doesn’t?

Unfortunately, we don’t get everything we ask for.

I do know that God hears every single one of my prayers, but the truth is he hasn’t answered every single one of my prayers in the way that I asked him to, and some I have been praying and waiting for a really long time, still with no answer.

I have quite a few prayers that I’m glad he didn’t answer my way because His way came out way better than mine. But then there are those other prayers like when my brother died or when my friend’s cancer got worse and she died too that I was not happy with his way. Those kinds of prayers do seem to happen a lot.

I know there are reasons as to why they died and others live or why one person suffers more than another. I’m not sure if I will ever get to know any of those reasons but I can tell you one thing I do know… I saw my friend cling to Jesus as she went through her last days and she seemed at peace and also through it all she was encouraging others and bringing them to Him!

Sometimes I’ve found that some of the biggest encouragers I know have some pretty bad ‘stuff’ going on in their lives but not all of them share that they are struggling with others.

Why are we like this when the truth is bad stuff just happens and we can’t be feeling good all the time!

I heard the following song on the radio recently and I loved it because the singer is talking about his job of standing on the stage night after night reminding broken people that it will be alright… when he himself isn’t doing very well.

This song encourages me because I have felt this way.

‘I know your able and I know you can, save through the fire with your mighty hand. But even if you don’t, My hopes is you alone’ (lyrics by Mercyme)

Haven’t we all felt this way at one time or another?

One thing to remember is this – no matter what you are going through Jesus is faithful and he will walk through it with you. He will even carry you if needed. ALWAYS.

My hope is Jesus alone.

Found by the Prince of Peace

 

god-of-peaceTwo weeks ago I had knee replacement surgery on my left knee and on November 28 I will be having the right one done.

I’ve known I needed to do this for over 2 years but I still have been putting the surgeries off because the thought of having someone cut my whole knee joint out and replacing it with metal and plastic made me feel really uncomfortable and to be honest it really scared the living daylights out of me.

After I made the decision a lot of worries crossed my mind about the things that could go wrong but I knew I had to not be dwelling on those things and just look to how much better my life was going to be when everything went right.

I had a great peace and I really wasn’t nervous at all during the time up to the surgery but the morning of the surgery for some reason I started to get really nervous. By the time we got into the car to go to the hospital my nerves were starting to get the best of me and I was beginning to feel like I had some sort of dark heavy cloud of dread hanging over me. When we pulled our car out of the garage a thick heavy fog was covering the neighborhood which just added to the dread I was feeling.

A few minutes later we were flying up the highway and I was sitting over in the passenger seat praying silently, but the harder I prayed, the more scared I became.

Where was God’s peace at now??

Somehow I had lost it and it was now hidden deep in the fog which seemed to be pressing in tighter and tighter on me.
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I wanted to forget the whole surgery and tell my husband to turn the car around and head back home but before I could get the words out of my mouth suddenly in the middle of the dark gloomy morning the sun started peeking out through the fog and the sky began changing.
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In a matter of seconds, the sky was a mix of beautiful colors. I began taking pictures of the sky and somehow without even realizing it was happening God had managed to reel me back to peace.
By the time we arrived at the hospital a beautiful sunshiny day had dawned and I was ready to get on with getting a new knee.
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But God wasn’t done yet…
I was met by my nurse who would check me in and found out her name was ‘Joy’. Joy’s name fit her well and she was exactly the perfect person for me to start off this day with. Joy the nurse was full of joy. Being checked into surgery by nurse Joy along with her name tag flashing the word “Joy’ at me constantly, there was no way I couldn’t feel the continued presence and peace of God.

Joy stayed with me until it was time to go to the Operating room holding area.

My next nurse’s name was ‘Lisa’. Which is also the name of my dear friend Lisa who now lives in heaven. I’m not really sure why having a nurse named Lisa gave me peace but seeing the name Lisa reminded me about Lisa and how courageously she had lived her life during her illness right up until she left for her new one. Remembering Lisa reminded me that I wanted to live my life courageously trusting in God like she had.

Everything seemed to be going well and I was doing really great the whole morning but then the anesthesiologist came in and introduced himself. His name was David. David was nice and he looked like just the guy to handle the job of putting me to sleep. I was really liking him a whole lot but then he gave me a choice to make. It was a choice that nobody had even mentioned or that I had ever dreamed was available. David gave me the choice of staying awake or going to sleep during the surgery..… STAYING AWAKE???!!

I remember saying to him, “you’re kidding right?”

But this was not a joke… this guy was dead serious!

I had seen the video of what they were going to do to me and it involved cutting my whole knee joint out with saws and then putting in the new knee with a hammer…SAWS… AND HAMMERS!!! Did I mention they were going to use saws and hammers and this guy was giving me the option to stay awake during the surgery????!!!!!

I’m sure you know by now my answer to that question was…. NO WAY!

I didn’t even have to answer him before he said, “Maybe you better go to sleep.” I wonder if it was the… ‘you are crazy for ever asking me that look’ I must have had on my face.

After that I lost my peace again and suddenly I felt sick to my stomach. I went to the bathroom to be sick and when I arrived back at my bed there was a woman in my room waiting for me. “Hi I’m the hospital Chaplin and I came to see if you would like me to pray with you,” she said.

Ummmm…. Ya…

How cool is that?! The minute I lost peace God sent a Chaplin in to pray with me!

We prayed and then we just chatted for a while as if we were old friends. Before I knew it the God of peace had found me again and it was now time for me to go into the operating room. The last thing I remember was telling someone that they really needed to organize the operating room because it was really a mess….

I’m not really sure what my obsession with organized operating rooms is but the last 2 surgeries I’ve had that line has come out of my mouth just as I drift off to sleep. I will blame it on the happy meds they put in the IV.

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3 hours later I woke up with a brand new knee and a horrible pain in my hip.

Yep you heard that right, I go in for knee surgery and come out with hip pain.

I now know that the pain in my hip is my sciatic nerve. Somehow it became irritated during the surgery and I have to say it is about the worst pain I have ever dealt with in my life!

But...even though the sciatic nerve is giving me problems I still seem to be breezing right through the knee stuff. I am excelling in my exercises with my range of motion coming back way quicker than is expected.
The crazy thing is my knee which is what I was worried about before the surgery is not an issue at all.
The problem is this sciatic nerve hurts really bad If I lay down and I also have had problems with every pain medication they have given me so Tylenol is all I can take.
Sooooo… sleeping is something I have not been getting a whole lot of.

Every night about 11 pm the pain starts and I then spend the rest of the night moving around to different areas of my house trying to get comfortable. I can take a lot of pain and usually never cry about pain but I have to say that this is the first time in my life that pain seems to keep turning me into an exhausted crying mess.

I have spent a whole lot of time this past couple of weeks listening to the Hillsong channel on T.V. and Pandora Radio. Every single night there is one song that seems to always play right at the time which is when I am usually at the height of my pain.

The song is “Prince of Peace” by Hillsong United.


The words to this song always seem to help me find comfort and peace.

My heart a storm
Clouds raging deep within
The Prince of Peace came bursting through the wind
The violent sky held its breath
And in Your light I found rest
Tearing through the night
Riding on the storm
Staring down the fight
My eyes found Yours
Shining like the sun
Striding through my fear
The Prince of Peace met me there
You heard my prayer – Words and music by Hillsong United

Just as I am feeling as if I can’t go on anymore Jesus always meets me right in the middle of the pain and then he carries me through the night. He is my comfort and peace until the early morning hours when I finally fall asleep.

Jesus is my peace…

As I am writing this its almost 11 pm the pain hasn’t started yet and I am hoping it doesn’t. Each night I pray that it won’t start but each night it still does. I am not really sure why that prayer hasn’t been answered yet but so many more prayers have been answered so far.

I am learning that I can get through anything no matter how painful it is when I call on Jesus. I have seen Gods hands and miraculous healing in this and also in past illnesses I’ve had. Also from what I have heard Knee replacement surgery is very very painful, thankfully I haven’t had much knee pain so far which my physical therapist says she has never come across so maybe I have the better pain of the two…. ?

AAAAnyway …. it’s getting late so I am going to try to get some sleep.

Have a great night!
T

P.S. If you aren’t squeamish and want to see something cool, click the picture of my bandage below to remove it and see my incision.  You can just call me the bionic woman from now on 😀

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Great are You Lord – Music Monday

As I cross through the valley of the shadows you never leave me to cross alone.

You are by my side with each step,

holding me steady,

helping me make my way through the shadow days.

You are a lamp burning bright,

my guiding light that I must always keep in sight.

You are my strength,

my comfort,

the breath in my lungs.

The only way I can ever make it through is when I walk with you.

You are my refuge,

Great are You Lord.


The Lord is my shepherd;
I shall not want.
He makes me to lie down in green pastures;
He leads me beside the still waters.
He restores my soul;
He leads me in the paths of righteousness
For His name’s sake.

Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death,
I will fear no evil;
For You are with me;
Your rod and Your staff, they comfort me.

You prepare a table before me in the presence of my enemies;
You anoint my head with oil;
My cup runs over.
Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me
All the days of my life;
And I will dwell in the house of the Lord Forever.   Psalm 23

In My Hour of Desperation I Will No Longer Be a Slave to Fear – Music Monday

Good Morning! The days seem to be flying by anymore and it seems to me as if it was just yesterday that I posted last week’s Music Monday song. With that being said the next thing I am going to say probably won’t make a bit of sense…. Even though the week seems to have flown by it also seems to me as if so much has happened this past week that it could have actually really been a month that went by! Can anyone relate?!?

Last week I asked you for prayers for our family for something that was going to take place later that afternoon.

On Monday afternoon, prayers were answered and things looked as if they had gone the way we were hoping they would go. But then a few days later we found out that even though things had gone our way on Monday, we now have a whole new obstacle to tackle.

I am not usually one to get caught up in political issues and really have a hard time with people saying bad things about the officials in charge of things. To me, it seems as if we seem to have lost respect in our country for those who are in places  of authority and I don’t really think that its right that we should trash talk them even if we don’t agree with them…. but I will say that here lately, it seems that I find myself wondering why grownups act more like children than children do anymore.

I know today sounds like I am ranting, and I’d like to say I’m not, but I will admit yes I am. Last week a child in my family had their right to safety ripped out from under them. I am tired of seeing this child hurt… actually, I am tired of seeing any child hurt… make that….actually, I am tired of seeing grown ups hurt too. People hurting is a hard one for me but it’s even harder when the people I love are treated unfairly and are hurt because of it. Something needs to be done about the nonsense we have going on in our country anymore.  Sometimes people push to get what they want just because they think they have the right to have it and I don’t even think they really want what it is they are trying to get other than just to make a point it’s their right to have it, so they will take that right no matter what the cost.

And in this case, the grownups got what they wanted but, the cost is a child being hurt because some of the people who are in charge of making the decisions for the child’s life think more of themselves than what their actions will do to the child in the long run.


That is not the only thing I have going on in my life at the moment but I am going to stop with that and spare you the details of the rest of the junk going on and move on with this story… this story does get better, I promise.


Today I woke up at the crack of dawn feeling really down and just sick about the struggles going on lately in life.

I wanted to stay in bed but I had to get up. I had too much to do today and laying in bed wasn’t going to get them done, so I got up out of bed and headed for the shower.

Normally the first thing I do when I get up in the morning is to turn the radio on.  Today I was in such a grumpy mood I didn’t want to listen to the radio station I usually listen to. Most days I listen to a Christian radio station that plays a whole lot of joyful songs and I really wasn’t feeling the joy this morning. For my friends who usually see the happy side of me here is a sneak peak at the side of me I don’t let people see very often… The side of me I don’t like much but it is me sometimes and it is who I was this morning.Yep, today I was in a horrible mood and I was just gonna just lay down and wallow in it.  Like I said I wasn’t feeling the joy so instead of my favorite radio station I turned my Pandora app that I have on my phone with plans to listen to some good old fashioned classic rock. I  connected my phone to the blue tooth speaker in my shower and got in.

At first, the music didn’t come on.

Awesome,  now my music wasn’t working either. I was already soaking wet by then and didn’t want to take a chance on getting my phone wet. So I made the decision to shower without music today.

Once I had a pile of shampoo suds on my head the music suddenly came on with these words blaring out of my speaker…

I see the work of Your Hands
Galaxies spin in a Heavenly dance oh God
All that You are is so overwhelming

“Where is my classic rock???”

I hear the sound of Your Voice
All at once it’s a gentle and thundering noise oh God
All that You are is so overwhelming

I delight myself in You
Captivated by Your beauty
I’m overwhelmed, I’m overwhelmed by You

God, I run into Your arms
Unashamed because of mercy
I’m overwhelmed, I’m overwhelmed by You

I know the power of Your Cross
Forgiven and free forever You’ll be my God

All that You’ve done is so overwhelming

“Okay God, I get it…

The words kept coming and the next thing I knew I am feeling this overwhelming presence of love in the room and I find myself lost in the words to the song forgetting that I was in the shower or for that matter I think I may have forgotten that I was even in the room.

I am not sure how long it was before I came back to my senses and realized the water was cold and my skin was shriveling up so I had better move out of the shower. After getting out of the shower I left the music on and one song after another played, taking me through my morning routine which wasn’t so routine for me anymore today.  Every song that played seemed to be organized in some sort of story order, all with words that fit me where I was today.  Songs with words that took me on a trip back in time and then brought me right back to the present filling me full to the top with hope and most of all with peace.

The past 5 years a whole lot has happened in my life and over the past 5 years, Jesus has walked with me in many places. Many of those places were good but also many were hard places. After walking through each one of those places, I came out at the end standing firmly with the knowledge I will never ever walk alone again. Sometimes I tend to get off track and let fear get in the way of my memory of all he has done but somehow he always seems to come looking for me and reels me back in. He refuses to allow me to give up and I know he has put me here where I am for a reason and I have to keep going. He never gives up so neither can I.

Maybe things aren’t going how I have them planned out in my head they should go.  Maybe I don’t understand it all but what I do know is … this time just like all the other times God has a better plan than I do. So it’s time to stop worrying about how things look to me in this moment and instead look forward to the outcome God has planned which I am sure will be better than anything I can imagine right now.

God totally hijacked my radio station today and I am so very thankful for that.

Anyway… instead of one song today, I am posting as many of the songs that I can remember that played this morning. I know the list is quite lengthy but maybe there is something in there for you.

Have a wonderful day and a wonderful week and don’t forget to check out the songs below!

Terri Siebert

Overwhelmed by Big Daddy Weave

How Great is our God by Chris Tomlin

Everything Comes Alive by We Are Messengers

I Refuse by Josh Wilson 

Everlasting God by Lincoln Brewster

I Will Follow  by Chris Tomlin

It’s Not Over Yet  by For King and Country

Trust in You by Lauren Daigle

You are Everything by Matthew West

And for the big finish…. No Longer Slaves by Jonathan David and Melissa Helser

Music Monday – The Voice of Truth

music monday1Good Morning and happy Music Monday to you!

Before I share today’s song I want to share with you a little bit about why I picked this song.

Since this past August, we have something that has been going on in my family that I haven’t been able to write about on the blog because of privacy for those who are involved. Today I am sharing just this small bit of info because this is something that our family could really use a whole lot of prayers for and I am hoping that maybe you could add us to your prayers.

This afternoon there will be something happening to do with this that has the possibility of drastically changing lives.  At this point, I am not even sure if any outcome that could happen today will be a good outcome or not.  I know what we are wanting to happen, but even if that does happen things will still be hard for all of those who are involved.

This has really been weighing on me a lot lately and yesterday during church I had a really hard time keeping myself together. I haven’t told many people at church about this either. I’m really not real good at telling people my problems and I would rather just keep things to myself.  My pastor even came up to me and my husband before the service and asked how we were doing. That was my chance to say something but instead of spilling it I told him we were good and we talked about our recent vacation. I know this may sound strange, but from the moment I walked into the church building, somehow I felt comfort in just being there with my church family. And whether they knew what was going on or not I still feel as if they are there for me and my family and at the moment he asked how we were I really do think I really was doing good.

It was when the music started that everything began pouring in.

One of the songs that were played during the service is the one I am sharing with you today. The song is called “Voice of Truth” by Casting Crowns.

As I was sitting there listening, the words of the song just kinda moved in and suddenly I felt like I was living them.

Oh what I would do to have
The kind of faith it takes to climb out of this boat I’m in
Onto the crashing waves

To step out of my comfort zone
To the realm of the unknown where Jesus is
And He’s holding out his hand

But the waves are calling out my name and they laugh at me
Reminding me of all the times I’ve tried before and failed
The waves they keep on telling me
Time and time again, “Boy, you’ll never win!”
“You’ll never win”

But the voice of truth tells me a different story
And the voice of truth says, “Do not be afraid!”
And the voice of truth says, “This is for My glory”
Out of all the voices calling out to me
I will choose to listen and believe the voice of truth (Words by Casting Crowns)

Lately, it does seem as if waves are crashing at me from all different directions and not only in the stuff that I just mentioned, but it seems like no matter what I try to do lately there is always something that will come up and get in the way. It feels like I am being pulled in a million directions anymore and I can’t seem to focus very well on much of anything.

Here is the music video –

This song reminded me I can’t allow the lies of the enemy to get in the way of God’s voice.

He is always here and the choice is ours to make, we can choose to believe the lies or we can choose to stand firm in the promises of God and listen to only His voice.

As the song played I began to sing along, knowing that I have chosen to stand firm in the knowledge that God has everything under control. Everything really is in his hands and that is where I am going to leave it.

The voice of truth says do not be afraid.

And the voice of truth says, “This is for My glory”

Out of all the voices calling out to me,

I will choose to listen and believe the voice of truth.

Do you have a song that moves you? If so, write a blog post about it and share it in the link up below.

Have a great week and thank you for your prayers,

Terri Siebert

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